Sasuke's Promotion
by xXxgothlolitaxXx
Summary: So what do you think of my brother?" "Sasuke Uchiha is the most arrogant egotistic bastard that ever lived" "Oh really, Sakura-chan" Sasuke stood at the door, arms crossed, head held high. Oh snap, Sakura...
1. Prolouge

SUMMARY:" So what do you think of my brother?" "Sasuke Uchiha is the most arrogant egotistic bastard that ever lived" "Oh really, Sakura-chan" Sasuke stood at the door, arms crossed, head held high. Oh snap, Sakura

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_**Chapter 1.  
Prolouge  
Xo-oX**_

_**clack clack clack**_ went a pinkette high heel shoes as she walked to her bosses office, a strong scent of coffee filled the office air as she set down the drink onto his desk.

"Anything else you want, Uchiha-sama?" Sakura put on a fake smile

"Well, there is this file that I need do get" Sasuke smirked at his **personal **secretary's annoyance

"Of course" Sakura's face scrunched up as she took mental notes about the file

"And I need you to also get my dry-cleaning" Sasuke added

"Dammit! I'm not your damn maid, ya egotistic bastard!" She thought

"I'll have it to you by 3 o' clock" Sakura told him walking towards the door

"Oh and Sakura" Sasuke said as she put her hand on the handle of the cherry wood door

"Yes, Uchiha-sama" Sakura gritted

"I WANT OUT NOW!!" she screamed in her head

Sasuke smirked, knowing how much his talking annoyed her "Oh, nothing"  
"Okay!" Sakura slammed the door and stomped her way to a nearby café

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"That damn ass-hole! Who the hell does he think he is!!" Sakura slammed her fist down onto the counter

"Calm down forehead" Ino sipped her latte calmly "We have bosses too you know"

"Swear to god! I'd quit if the pay wasn't that high" Sakura was the personal secretary of one of Kohona's most successful not to mention most handsome bachelor's-Sasuke Uchiha, head of the Uchiha Enterprise

"Sakura-chan, don't you have to go somewhere?" Naruto asked opening his Apple notebook and typing

"Naruto, I know you're trying to get rid of me. I have plenty of time before I have to leave" Sakura fiddled around with her salad

"Com'on Saku, it can't be that bad can it?" Tenten said

"Yes it is!" Sakura held her hand to her forehead "You don't know what it's like having a boss like him! He drives me to the edge!"

"Delivering files, coffee and his dry-cleaning doesn't seem edge-driving to me" Hinata said

"I agree, Sakura-chan. Teme may be a little…well…I dunno, bossy" Naruto began

"Not funny, Naruto! Not funny!" Sakura growled, a little habit she had received from her ever so nice boss who would threaten to fire her if she didn't deliver his coffee at 9 am sharp

"Well, if you get to know him a 'lil better, you'll see he's not so bad" Naruto shrugged

"I've known him all my life, through school and through my parents! There is nothing I can find about him that isn't bad!" Sakura drew her eyes into slits

"Fore-head, we've all had our days, I remember once I delivered a bouquet a few minutes late and my boss-"Ino was interrupted

"That's not the damn point!" Sakura shouted "It's him and his damn cockiness!!I fudging hate it!!"

"Don't you have a file or dry cleaning to deliver?" Tenten said

"Fine!" Sakura threw her uneaten salad into the trash bin before walking back to her table "You guys will pay!" She began walking out the door "For that salad that I didn't eat!" She shouted half-way out the door

"Phew! Thought we'd never get rid of her" Hinata spoke up at last

"You didn't even do a thing!!" Ino and Tenten shouted

"Don't yell at Hinata!" Naruto said "Don't you have something to do or something?"

"UGH!" Tenten smashed her mash potatoes into his face

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"MOVE IT OR LOSE IT BUB!!" Shouted an angry little girl stuck in traffic

"That little ass-hole just had to have his dry-cleaning done on the other side of town" She muttered "GODDAMMIT!!" She shouted as another car bumped her rear

"As if I didn't have anything else on hand!" She got out of her car and stamped her way to the car behind hers "I'ma give 'em a piece my mind!"

She knocked on the glass window

It rolled down, revealing a hot dude, dressed professionally in a tux, with a small black ponytail.

"Itachi-sama?" Sakura said confused

"Hn?" Itachi said professionally

"Damn these Uchiha men! All good-looking but can't even say a sentence" sakura thought

"Why'd you bump me?" Sakura asked

"Deidara here" He pointed to his shotgun "Made me step on the gas pedal as a joke"

"DEIDARA!!" growled Sakura "YOU DARE SCRATCH UP MY BABY PROSCHE AS A JOKE!" evil aura surrounded her as she glared at the blonde

"Gomen, Sakura-chan, didn't know it was you" He said with puppy-dog eyes

"BE GLAD I FALL FOR THAT WHEN I'M MAD!!" Sakura shouted

"Exactly why are you so aroused, Sakura-chan?" Itachi asked

"Two words: YOUR BROTHER!" Sakura got back into her car and drove back to the office building with Itachi on her tail

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"Exactly what did my foolish little brother do this time?" Itachi asked

"Let's see, he woke me up at 6 am to get a file, which didn't exist! Then he made me get his damn coffee……at this café 3 miles from here! Then he made me get his damn laundry all the way across town and now I have to get a file! Hang on a sec" She walked to her office and took out a box of files. She grabbed a file and returned to Itachi who had just stepped out of Sasuke's office.

"So Sakura, how would you describe my brother?" Itachi asked

"What do you mean by that?" Sakura gave him a questioning look

"What do you think about my brother?" Itachi asked

"What do I think about Sasuke?" Sakura began "Sasuke Uchiha is the most arrogant, egotistic, selfish, emo" She went on and on "man that has ever set foot on the face of this universe!" She shouted

"Oh really?" Itachi said

"Yes, really!" Sakura said "Now if you'll excuse me Itachi-sama, I've got a file and laundry to deliver"

"Is that so, Sakura-san?" Sasuke stood at the door, arms crossed, head held high.

Oh snap Sakura

* * *

Love it?

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Review and tell me

Nikkikay

* * *


	2. Sakura's Demise

Thanks to all my reviewers!! Here's an update

Disclaimer: I forgot this in the first chapter but I don't own Naruto, if I did little pink-haired sharingan users would be running around all of Konoha avenging their clan

* * *

_Recap:_

"_Is that so, Sakura-san?" Sasuke __stood at the door, arms crossed, head held high._

_Oh snap Sakura…_

_End of Recap_

* * *

_**Chapter 2.**_

_**Sakura's Demise**_

_**Xo-oX**_

* * *

It was official, I Sakura Haruno, age 21, the only natural pink-haired person in the world, is gonna lose my job at Uchiha Enterprise because of Uchiha's? Ironic, doesn't it seem?

* * *

"Um…um…Sasuke-sama!" Sakura began fearing for her career

"Oh no! Damn Uchiha's gonna make me lose my job!! Oh great lord, forgive me if I had done wrong but please if I die, please, leave my life savings to my pet fox, Kyuubi! Help him get into a good zoo or something. I could never trust Ino or Naruto with my money" Sakura thought

"Sakura-chan, please correct me if I'm wrong, but did I just hear you call me the most arrogant, egotistic, selfish, emo" He went on and on "person that had ever step foot on the face of the universe?"

"Uh, uh, yes…."Sakura said in a measly tiny little voice

"And exactly why do you think that way of me, Sakura-chan?" Sasuke asked

"Oh, hell! Forget this! I'm already getting fired, why the heck not!" Sakura thought

"Well, because Sasuke-sama, you are the one who calls me up at 6 in the morning after but a mere 4 hours of sleep each night to get your files. You are the one who has to make me get your coffee exactly how you like it everyday, making me run around town because you change your order every 20 minutes. You're the one who makes me get your laundry halfway across town, through the worst traffic in the history of bad traffic and you know what? They can't even get coffee spills off!! You're the person who makes me praise you about how great and superior you are for hours to come! Who the hell calls at 4 in the morning to ask you to tell them how great they are? HUH!!" Sakura shouted "That huge ego of yours! That's what!!"

Sasuke was taken back for a thousandth of a second, but remained his cool "Alright then, get back to work Sakura"

"What?" Sakura asked unsure of his request

"Get back to work, Ms. Haruno, don't make me repeat myself a third time or you're fired" Sasuke walked back into his office

…

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This was what happened during the period Sakura was in shock, hence the dots above.

Itachi left. Naruto went into Sasuke's office, got yelled at and had a stapler thrown at him. Co-workers had their coffee break. The janitor washed the floor. Kiba, Kankuro and Lee came by with Akamaru. Lee complimented her, Kankuro flirted and Kiba stopped his dog from pissing at her leg. Naruto came out, sat down by her feet and ate ramen before leaving.

At last, all the drama and worry that had occurred finally got through to her brain through that thick forehead she had. She snapped back into reality…

"WHAT!!" Sakura said storming into Sasuke's office

"Is there a problem Ms. Haruno?" Sasuke asked not looking up from his laptop

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Sakura slammed her hands down onto the table "You didn't get mad or or react!! Aren't you supposed to like fire me 'cause I revolted or acted in a disrespectful manner!?"

"You don't see Naruto getting fired and he annoys the hell outta me!" Sasuke said monotone

"That's 'annoying' but still, isn't 'disrespectful' supposed to get fired or something?" Sakura asked

"Naruto calls me a teme, isn't that also disrespectful? Yet he doesn't get fired" Sasuke stated lacing his fingers together and resting his chin on them

"That's Naruto, your best friend. You two are close like brothers. I'm Sakura. Say it with me, Sa-ku-ra" Sakura pronounced her name to Sasuke as if he were a six-year old…in which he is in some ways "I'm the annoying ex-fangirl that used to stalk you around the school, trying to get your attention? Remember me?"

"Yes I do" Sasuke said

"Then shouldn't you fire me or something!? You're a freak something, you chicken-butt head" Sakura said

"Do you really want me to react to you're little hissy-fit, Haruno?" Sasuke asked

"The world would make more sense to me if you did!!" Sakura said

"Alright then…" Sasuke quickly typed up a letter to Sakura and printed it "Here you go" He handed the sheet of white paper to her

Sakura read it over "PROMOTION!? I don't think you get my idea, Sasuke-sama"

"Oh I did, Haruno-san" Sasuke got up and began to lightly push Sakura to the door "Read the fine print"

Sakura quickly read the fine print

"You'll be working as my _**personal**_** maid **starting tomorrow, you'll be moving in with me as well" Sasuke stated

"…" Sakura's eyes widened as she heard the words coming out of his mouth. Oh how she wished she could just punch his pretty little face in right then and there. Oh how she regretted that she ever told him to react to her hissy-fit.

Sasuke bent his head down to her ear and whispered "Emphasis on personal, Sa-ku-ra" Her name rolled off his tongue as he said the syllables the way she had said it to him

Oh great Sakura, look what you've gotten yourself into now…

**TBC**

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Sasuke- now what was that about me acting like a 6 year old?

Me- Aren't you the one who calls sakura up at 4 AM for praise?

Sasuke-….that's your own fault

Me- Naruto was right, you are a teme

Sasuke- I'll kill you

Me- I'll make Sakura pair up with your brother

Sasuke- You wouldn't dare

Me- The pen in mightier than the sword! Except when you're-NOPE! The pen is STILL mightier than the sword

Sakura- Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, more to come later

* * *

Love it?

Hate it?

Review and tell me.

Nikkikay


	3. First Day, Second Thoughtsor maybe no

Thanks for all the reviews

Thanks for all the reviews!! Here's an update

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but NIETHER WILL YOU!! XP

* * *

_Recap:_

"_You'll be working as my __**personal maid **__starting tomorrow, you'll be moving in with me as well" Sasuke stated_

_Sasuke bent his head down to her ear and whispered "Emphasis on personal, Sa-ku-ra" Her name rolled off his tongue as he said the syllables the way she had said it to him_

_Oh great Sakura, look what you've gotten yourself into now…_

_End of Recap_

* * *

_**Chapter 3.**_

_**First Day, Second Thoughts…or maybe not**_

_**Xo-oX**_

* * *

Has anything ever occur to you that seems sort of confusing? Then you go and fix it? Yea, we all get those moments. Unfortunately for me, I went and tried to fix it instead of letting it fix itself….it did NOT go well. Sakura Haruno here, personal secretary of Sasuke Uchiha, president of Uchiha Enterprise, is now the _**personal **_**maid **of Sasuke Uchiha. Bring on the chaos…

* * *

"I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM!!" shouted Sakura to Ino

"So you're moving out?" Tenten asked

"Yes! I HATE THAT DAMN BASTARD! MAKING ME HIS DAMN PERSONAL MAID!" Sakura shouted grabbing a gallon of Ben and Jerry's cookie and cream out of the freezer

"But he promoted you" Hinata said

"That's not a promotion, that's a punishment!!" Sakura shouted digging up a spoonful of ice-cream into her mouth and savoring the taste

"Weren't you asking for one?" Tenten asked

"Yes…no….sorta……..maybe….."Sakura said through spoonfuls

"It'll be lonely without you here as our roomie, forehead" Ino said hugging Sakura "But on the plus side, you'll be living with Kohona's hottest single male"

"DO YOU THINK I CARE!?" Sakura stuffed more spoonfuls of cookie into her mouth

"Why don't you go pack Sakura?" Hinata asked

"Alright" She glared at them "No touchy my cookies" She headed up the stairs

"Phew, I'm glad she's gone" Hinata sighed "I hate it when she gets mad, it's so hard to calm her down"

"Its sort easy, just stuff ice-cream into her mouth to shut her up" Tenten said

"Yea, but she'll turn fat that way….but who cares, its not me" Ino laughed at the insult

"I heard that pig!" Sakura said from upstairs

"Sorry" Hinata shouted

"I forgive you n Tenny but Lila Miss Piggy here isn't forgiven!" Sakura shouted

"Oh! Favor them over me forehead!" Ino shouted

"Yea! That's why I give them brownies and you cookies" Sakura shouted hauling her luggage down the stairs

"You get brownies? I hate you" Ino glared at Hinata and Tenten

"I'm kidding, you get low-fat cookies Ino-pig" Sakura said "You gotta diet"

Ino brushed aside the insult and hugged Sakura "I hope you have a nice time with Sasuke"

"Living with him will be hell" Sakura said patting her back before realizing something

"…you touched my ice-cream didn't you!?" Sakura raged at Ino

"I'm dieting, no way!" Ino lied

"I know you did! Now you're gonna pay!" Sakura hit her with a pillow

Ino hit her back with one

Hinata and Tenten joined in eventually

A half hour later

"It's been a long time since we've ruin good pillows, isn't it?" Sakura asked covered in feathers

"Yep, but now forehead's leaving" Ino said

"Let's come over sometime, how 'bout it Saki?" Hinata asked, pillow in hand, ready for a surprise attack

"Sure" Sakura said

"But first…" Tenten struck Ino on the butt with a pillow

"Hey! No fair!" She hit back

5 minutes later

Ding dong went the doorbell

"Oh crap he's here!!" Sakura began to cry

"Oh grow up!" Hinata stuffed her head against a pillow "Cry on that!"

"I'll get the door" Ino sang as she went to the doors

"Hey Sasuke" Ino greeted

"Tch, I'm here to get Sakura" He said

"I know, which is why she's over there" She pointed over her shoulder "Having a pillow fight with us

Sasuke peered over her shoulder without difficulty, considering he's like…I dunno…6'3" (so tall!! I wanna be that tall!! OK, maybe not….freaky for me). What he saw kinda shocked him. Sakura, sprawled on the floor, head buried in a pillow

"Come on Sakura! He's here!" Tenten said

"Tell him I'm sick of his emo crap and I'm not going to be a damn maid when he's got 50 little whores running around his house already" Sakura mumbled

Sasuke walk over to her, grabbed her by the waist, and through her over his shoulder

"Put me down ya damn sexual predator!" Sakura banged her fists against his back….lemme rephrase that, his fine, sexy (not in my perspective, unless he's shirtless!! I'm not a fangirl) toned, marble back

Sasuke ignored her, grabbed all her luggage in one hand, slammed the door with his foot and went to his car

"BYE SAKURA!!" Her friends shouted as Sasuke pushed her into his car

"I hate you Uchiha" Sakura growled

"I love you too" Sasuke smirked at Sakura's blush "Still think I'm heartless?"

"I never said heartless but maybe I should have, considering you're not thinking about how I feel about me living with you!!" Shouted Sakura

"Tch, I'm driving, so shaddup" Sasuke grunted

"Makes no difference ya cocky bastard" Sakura folded her arms

"Is that anyway to treat your boss?" Sasuke asked

"Right now is my time to be mad at you" Sakura shouted

"For promoting you?" Sasuke said

"YES! I hate you…"She glared at him

"Women and their pms-ing" Sasuke thought out loud

"I HEARD THAT!! And I'm not pms-ing!" Sakura shouted

"You are to me" Sasuke muttered under his breath

"HMPH" Sakura shoved into her face

"My professional and personal secretary acting like a 3-year old just because I promoted her to being my personal maid…never thought I would see the day" Sasuke thought

Suddenly a car just cut in front of them without signaling

"HEY, JERK! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!" Sakura shouted "I'LL KILL YOU IF TOUCH EVEN A PIECE OF MY PRECIOUS BUBBLEGUM HAIR!!"

"Weirdo…" was all Sasuke thought

* * *

Uchiha Mansion…

"Welcome home, Uchiha-sama" Frilly-dressed maids were standing in two perfect lines on the right and left, greeting Sasuke

"Hn" He grunted placing Sakura's luggage on the floor

"Allow me to take those for you" A maid came forward and held her hands out

"Hn" He grunted once more "Who thought I had whores running around my house?"

"He's more vocabulary-lacking at home…wonder who he gets it from" Sakura thought following Sasuke into his mansion

"Well, they could always be in disguise" Sakura said

"Welcome home, Sasu-chan" There sat the lovely ex-supermodel and designer Mikoto Uchiha, in all of her glory and beauty

"Mom, don't call me that in front of my employee" Sasuke said with the tiniest hints of emotion

"Hm? And who's this lovely young lady" Mikoto stood up and went to Sakura

"Sakura Haruno, Sasuke-sama's personal secretary, now Sasuke-sama's maid" Sakura bowed "It's a pleasure to meet you Mikoto-sama"

"Oh, call me Mikoto-chan! Or mom if you'd like!" Mikoto said cheerfully

"Mother, we're not like that in that way" Sasuke gritted his teeth

"Oh, come now Sasu-chan! I'm not getting any younger and I'd like to see you give me at least one grandchild before my time comes!" Mikoto said "Stop fooling around and get serious already!"

"I'll get married when I'm ready, Mother. I've got many things on my mind already" Sasuke said

"Yea right" Sakura mumbled "I'm the one doing all the work"

"What was that Sa-ku-ra?" Sasuke leaned forward onto Sakura

"Back off Sasuke, I may be your employee but I will kick your butt if I have to" Sakura glared at his advance

"Just follow me" Sasuke sighed

"Bye Mom, say hi to Dad for me when you see him" Sasuke trudged up the stairs with Sakura behind him

"Hm" Mikoto chuckled "This'll be interesting, and Itachi thought Sasuke didn't have hormones! Can't wait to tell everyone I'm going to have grandchildren soon!"

This'll be very interesting indeed…

**TBC**

**Mikoto's a bit OOC in this fic but she IS the mother of Sasuke…who doesn't ever seem interested in women, so yea, I hope you readers sorta get my point**

**Love it**

**Hate it**

**Review and tell me**

**Nikkikay**


	4. Tomato Act

Thanks for all the reviews

Thanks for all the reviews!! Here's an update

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto… Masashi Kishimoto wouldn't! XP but I don't, and vise versa he does!! BUT THE PLOT IS MINE!!

* * *

_Recap:_

"_Hm" Mikoto chuckled "This'll be interesting, and Itachi thought Sasuke didn't have hormones! Can't wait to tell everyone I'm going to have grandchildren soon!"_

_End of Recap_

* * *

**Chapter 4.  
****Tomato Act  
Xo-oX**

* * *

When does life ever seem fair? Let me tell you, _never. _Hey, Sakura Haruno in the Uchiha mansion here, and to begin, TODAY IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. Oh, kami, save me!!

* * *

"I sleep where again?" Sakura asked annoyed at the situation she was in

"In here" Sasuke said opening a door to a massively large room

"Does it have to be right next to yours?" Sakura asked crossing her arms

"Your choice: either next to mine, or in mine" Sasuke smirked

"Yep, I was right, you ARE a sexual predator, why do I even work for you!?" Sakura shouted

"'Cuz you know I'm hot" Sasuke said

"This is where the arrogance and egotism comes from" Sakura said walking into her room

"Your uniform's on your bed, get dressed, you make dinner at 6" Sasuke grunted heading for his room

"At least this place is decent..."Sakura grumbled as she unpacked her stuff "Now where is that closet?" She look around the room "Sure, full length mirror, 42" flat screen TV with HD, king-sized bed with cherry-blossoms sheets, a great view of the city and the beach, my own personal bathroom, state of the art computer, laptop and such but no closet…"

She changed into the frilly pink French maid outfit and walked outside

"Oof" Sakura fell to the floor as she bumped into someone

"G-gomen, Fugaku-sama" Sakura said jumping right back onto her feet, bowing and apologizing to the Uchiha head

"Hn" Fugaku grunted as he continued his way tot eh stairs

"Now I know where Sasuke gets his vocabulary from" Sakura glared at Fugaku's back

"Oi!! Open up chicken butt!" Sakura pounded on Sasuke's door

"What?" The door opened to reveal a wet Sasuke in only a towel

"First off, PUT ON A SHIRT OR SOMETHING!!" Sakura shouted turning around "And can you tell me exactly where are my clothes gonna be?"

"Follow me…" Sasuke went into her room, still drenched and half-nude

"Must you stay nude?" sakura asked

"Yes" Sasuke said "I didn't finish shampooing"

"You didn't even start" sakura glared at the chicken's butt or as Sasuke calls it, his hair "So does that mean that you gel your hair to look like a chicken's ass?"

"Tch, I did start" Sasuke ran his hand through his wet hair, the hot just-getting-out-of-the-pool-for-a-snack way (hehe! I made that up! XP), and rubbed the shampoo bubbles onto Sakura's face

"Why you!" Sakura was about to lunge at him

"Here you go" Sasuke pressed a button on the wall. Two hidden doors opened

"Wonder if there's a button that opens a hole in the floor and makes vocabulary-lacking, cranky, just-out-of-the-shower, egotistic, arrogant bosses disappear…" Sakura thought out loud

"You know I heard that" Sasuke said

"You know that there's a new invention that covers up nude people, yea, it's called clothes!" Sakura shouted

"Hn" Sasuke stepped forward "You know you do look kinda cute in that"

"Ahem' Sakura cleared her throat "SASUKE UCHIHA!! PUT ON SOME CLOTHES BEFORE I USE A CURLING IRON AND MAKE YOU SOME OUT OF YOUR OWN SKIN!"

Sasuke checked if his hearing was still intact "Sakura…just try" He breathed into her ear

"Oh, you betcha I would if my job wasn't at stake!!" Sakura seethed

"Hn" Sasuke said before leaving "Oh and Sakura?"

"WHAT!!I DON"T NEED YOU HALF-NUDE IN MY ROOM FOR ETERNITY!" Sakura shouted

"You look nice" He smirked at her blush

"Dang that jerk! I swear in the name of Dippin' Dots that he is up to no good!" Sakura fumed as she looked at the clock "6 PM……gotta get dinner started" She headed down to the kitchen

"Oh! Sakura-chan! You look so adorable!" Mikoto rushed to hug the poor girl

"What would you like for dinner, Mikoto-sama?" Sakura asked

"Oh no, Sakura, Fugaku and I are leaving for a meeting tomorrow. Have fun with Sasu-chan though. I believe that Itachi is coming to visit you later" Mikoto said releasing the hug

"I-ta-chi…" Sakura gritted through her teeth "I shall make the two imbeciles siblings the worst meal they've ever had in their lives!! Muah ha ha ha!!" She planned evilly in her mind

"Hn" Fugaku said walking out the front door

"Enjoy your first night here Sakura-chan!" Mikoto sang as the door closed

"Hehehe…" Sakura had an evil glint as she stalked her way into the kitchen to find herself alone in there

"Let me guess, the boss-teme told all the chefs to go home so that I'll have more work to do" Sakura walked up to a counter to find a note there, it read:

_Dear Miss Sakura, _

_Sasuke-sama has told us that we have the rest of the month off. Thank you for being our substitute while we are on vacation. _

-_Chefs of Uchiha Mansion_

"Sometimes that bastard really knows how to get to me" Sakura took out some lettuce from the fridge and began chopping them up "Great, now I'm his 24/7 slave…" She thought as she continues to cook the meal

Dinner…

"Dinner's served, Uchiha-temes" Sakura said as she threw down a plate of burnt food for each of them

"Sakura, what is that?" Deidara poked at his food

"That is your dinner" Sakura said bluntly handed Sasori a plate

"I think mine just moved" Naruto said

"Who the hell invited you, dobe?" Sasuke arched a brow at Naruto

"Oi! I have keys to this place!! I don't need an invite!" Naruto shouted

"No you don't" Sasuke said plainly

"Okay I don't, but I know where you keep the spare key" Naruto gave a sheepish smile

"Yo, Saki! Can we get something to drink this down?" Sasori asked

"Sure, be right back" Sakura said

"No, seriously, what is that thing!" was the last thing that came out of Deidara's mouth as the food Sakura made ate him up……..okay, the food she made didn't devour him….but what he said was the last thing that sakura heard as she entered the kitchen

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"Here" Sakura stated as she placed down a red glass in front of everyone

Everyone at the table took a sip…

-

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SPLOOSH went everyone but Sasuke as they spat out their drinks

"WHAT THE HELL'S THIS!" shouted Deidara

"That would be you drink…" said Sakura "and my revenge!! MUAH HAHAHA!!"

"You know…you should really stop saying your thoughts out loud. It's not a good habit" said Itachi wiping his mouth with a napkin

"That's what you get for bumping into me!!" Sakura shouted

"What did I do?" shouted Naruto

"I was not apart of that" Sasori stated

"I know but it was just for laughs" Sakura averted her attention to Sasuke "Why aren't you puking?"

"I'm not puking because, unlike everyone else, I like tomato juice" Sasuke stated "Guess you weren't a very good fangirl, Sakura"

"I was a fangirl not a stalker!!" Sakura glared

"They're both the same to me!" Sasuke continued sipping his juice as Sakura re-entered the kitchen to get the next entrée

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"Finally some peace and quiet!" Sakura said as she boiled a pack of instant ramen

"Itadakimasu" Sakura chimed as she grabbed a pair of chopsticks and dug in (I have absolutely no idea how to spell that word, forgive me if I'm wrong)

"Stupid Sasuke and his stupid tomatoes" Sakura thought as she pictured herself in a commercial

_Inside her commercial…_

"_Hello, this is Sakura Haruno here. Are you tired of being ignored by Sasuke Uchiha and want to get noticed by him? Well, here's something that will help you get to his heart!" She held out a can of diced tomatoes, as her other hand did the magic swoosh to it. "Diced tomatoes-one of Sasuke's favorite foods! Normally it'll cost 2 dollars a pound at a market but through this special TV offer, we'll give you four cans of diced tomatoes, each weighing one pound for ten dollars! Yes! All you have to do is call 1-800-XXX-XXXX and pay 10.00 with you credit card. Must be of earth residence only and I don't care if you're his number one fan from this other galaxy, ORDER NOW!"_

_Back to reality… _

"I'll be rich! RICH!! Then I'll sell his clothes!! I'll be richer than the Queen of England!!...but is the other of Hairy Pooper or Harry Potter richer than her? Oh, whatever!! Muahhahahahahaha" Sakura laughed out loud

"Sakura?" Naruto peeked in

"I said my thoughts out loud, didn't I?" Sakura asked bluntly

"Yep, and can I have some of that ramen you're eating?" Naruto asked

"Sure….." She handed him the bowl of ramen

"Arigato!!" Naruto dug in as Sakura went up the stairs to her room

"Sell tomatoes to my fans and then my clothes?" Sasuke sneered leaning on his back against the wall, arms folded

"Huh…I'm just going into my room and ignore the fact that you heard that" Sakura chimed

"Feh" Sasuke smirked going downstairs to kick Naruto out

Inside Sakura's room…

"He's going to pay!! This voodoo doll should do the trick!" Sakura smiled evilly

"By the power of ice-cream, cookies, and all that is sweet and not meant for Sasuke to eat- DIE EVIL COCKATOO-HAIRED TEME!!" She stabbed the voodoo doll with a needle

Downstairs Sasuke called out "I can still hear you"

"Dammit!!" Sakura screeched

**TBC**

* * *

Me-any fans want tomatoes?

Fans- runs the authoress over and grabs tomatoes and starts throwing it at Sasuke (crashing into each other while trying to propose their love to him, XP)

Me-Sasuke!!

Sasuke-buried underneath a pile of tomatoes, slowly eating his way through

Sakura- I hope you enjoyed this chapter, more to come after Sasuke finishes eating his tomatoes, and also after the authoress and I count up all the money

Me- Pinkett say wah? THIS IS MY MONEY!!

Sakura- No it isn't

Me- Where the hell would I get such an ingenious commercial then?

Sakura-Readers, you really don't want to find out…

* * *

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**Review and tell me**

**Nikkikay**


	5. Sakura's 'Almost' Screw Up

Thanks for all the reviews

Thanks for all the reviews! Here's an update

Disclaimer: Naruto is rightfully belongs to Masashi Kishimoto…just until I kidnap him!! XP!!

* * *

_Recap:_

"_By the power of ice-cream, cookies, and all that is sweet and not meant for Sasuke to eat- DIE EVIL COCKATOO-HAIRED TEME!!" She stabbed the voodoo doll with a needle_

_Downstairs Sasuke called out "I can still hear you"_

"_Dammit!!" Sakura screeched _

_End of Recap_

* * *

**Chapter 5  
****Sakura's 'Almost' Screw up  
****Xo-oX**

* * *

Boss-teme is so ungrateful, why kami!! Why didn't you stop me when I applied for this job!? WAHHHHHHHH! Now I'm stuck ironing the teme's underwear….._sniff sniff _KILL ME NOW!!

* * *

"Sakura, get me my coffee" Sasuke said through a intercom

"Sasuke, it's 2 AM, I just got into bed, it's your house, get it yourself" Sakura groaned

"Get me on or you're fired" Sasuke threatened

"Fine, god! Always using the fire threat" Sakura groaned again getting up

Kitchen…

"Coffee, ehh?" Sakura smirked through heavy eyes "Oh, you'll get coffee"

She began blending up a weird mixture of stuff, what kind of stuff? Use your imagination!!

Sasuke's room…

"There's your coffee, oh emo-teme" Sakura said

Sasuke stared at her

"What? Do I hafta get on my knees and bow before his chicken-hairedness?" Sakura asked

"Just hand the coffee over" Sasuke held out his hand

Sakura handed him the drink

Sasuke took a sip and then spat it out

"What the hell is that" He shouted

"That's a drink of insert whatever you thought here" Sakura said

"What!!" Sasuke shouted

Sakura headed for the door

"Ya could've had a V-8" She said before leaving for her room

Sakura's room…

"Ahh that feels so much better" Sakura fell asleep, ignoring the constant shouting of the intercom…okay she didn't ignore it, she broke it, but what's the real difference?

* * *

Next day…

"Wake up, wake up, SAKURA!!" Sasuke shook the half-asleep girl

"Wah? MOLESTING PERVERT THAT LOOKS LIKE MY FRIGGIN' SON-OF-A-BASTARD BOSS!" Sakura shouted "HYAH!" she kicked Sasuke in the gut and sent him flying out of the room

She sighed before going back to sleep

"That's it" Sasuke went to get a bucket of cold water. He threw it onto Sakura, causing her to wake up

"Sasuke!!" Sakura seethed through her teeth "I'm gonna kill you!!" She shivered

"You wouldn't wake up, plus I have a meeting today, so chop chop, hurry up" he said (Can you imagine him saying that? I sure can't)

Sasuke left as Sakura slowly got up and planned her revenge on him…

* * *

Meeting…

"Sakura, get in here with my lunch" Sasuke said

"Alright already, I've got you a burger at McDonalds and some fries" Sakura said as she came into the meeting room with a burger in her hands and potatoes

"That's fattening" Sasuke stated

"Oh, I never knew that Sasuke cared about his weight" Sakura slammed a potato down onto the table. "There, now you've got mashed potatoes"

"You said fries" Sasuke stated dumbly

Sakura threw a potato into the air, aiming it for the spinning fan "Instant fries and dust, enjoy your meal Uchiha"

Members of the board began to laugh/chuckle

"Oh and I almost forgot about your drink" She shook up a can of Coke and lifted the tab, aiming for Sasuke's head "That's for pouring water from the Antarctic on me this morning" She left

Later…

"SAKURA!" Sasuke shouted "DID YOU KNOW WHAT THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU DID COULD'VE COST ME!?"

Sakura stood bored in his office as Sasuke continued to rage

"Sasuke…" Sakura began

"This company would've lost a fortune!" Sasuke continued

"Sasuke!" Sakura repeated

"I don't know what you were thinking!!" Sasuke continued

"SASUKE!!" Sakura shouted

"WHAT!!" Sasuke shouted back

"I got it covered" Sakura said slowly

"What? How?" Sasuke asked

"Well, if you want the whole story, it's complicated" Sakura said

"Give me the short version then" Sasuke ordered

"Alright. At your meeting, the red-head across from you was the person you wanted to make a deal with, am I right?" Sakura asked

"Yeah, what of it?" Sasuke asked

"He's Kiba's, the guard's, brother-in-law" Sakura said

"What?" Sasuke asked

"Here's the story, Kiba's wife's sister is his wife" Sakura said

"So you're saying dogboy's wife is Gaara's sister-in-law" Sasuke said

"Yay!! Though the Uchiha-teme in front of me has no hormones, he can still understand marriage relationships!!" Sakura cried out sarcastically

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sasuke said "He was about to cancel the deal anyway"

"Well, I told Kiba to call Gaara's wife to see if she can set things straight, in which she can, but…" Sakura cringed a little

"But…" Sasuke eyes widened in realization "What did you tell dogboy?"

"I told his you'd give him a raise…" Sakura said

Sasuke glared

"Oh, come on!" Sakura glared back "Have a heart for once! His wife's pregnant again and she's on maternity leave! You at least can help raise his pay by 2 bucks so that he can pay the rent!!" Sakura complained caring, unlike the cold-hearted jerk Uchiha Sasuke-teme… (I seriously love calling him that XP)

"He lives in a freaking condo four blocks away from my house!!Do you know that they own the entire floor!! that's the whole 8th floor, filled with about 13 different rooms!" Sasuke yelled "He's already getting 24.99 an hour! What more do you want me to give!!"

"He can always call off the agreement" Sakura smirked, knowing it was victory for her

"I should bunk at Kiba's place when I can't pay rent then" Sakura thought

"…" Sasuke glared hard before pressing the intercom button "Send Inuzuka Kiba up"

Later…

"Thanks a lot Sakura" Kiba gave her a bear-hug

"No problem Kiba" Sakura managed to choke out "Can't breathe"

"I can finally get those freaking mangos she wants" Kiba smirked "But about Gaara…I don't think I can help you with that"

"No worries, what Sasuke doesn't know is that Subaku Gaara and Haruno Sakura are related" Sakura smirked evilly (Yes, I did it!! I made Sakura evil for once!! Yay me!!)

"Does that mean you and I are related?" Kiba asked

"Yes…in some weird way" Sakura thought (I know that they're somehow related in this story, just know exactly sure….)

"Thanks a lot still, come on Akamaru! Let's buy those freaking mangos she wants before she calls and asked for watermelons!" Kiba said to his dog to whined a bit

"If she does call, you're carrying the watermelons home" Kiba frowned

"That'll be animal abuse" Sakura smiled

Akamaru jumped up and licked Sakura's face

"Oh no! That woman's gotten to you too!!" Kiba's face filled with fear "Who else is she gonna tell this stuff to!! Akamaru is strong enough for this job!! Nooooooooo!" Kiba's eyes widened as his cell phone rang, the caller ID flashing his wife's name out (This is to all you Kiba fans out there! Insert your name there!! XP!)

"Sakura, I heard you….you made me raise his pay when you could've fixed things" Sasuke said

"I gotta go!!" Kiba ran away with Akamaru swung over his shoulder

"Um…I'm gonna go on my lunch break right now…." She ran away as fast as she could with a fuming Sasuke on her tail

"Oof!" Sakura once again bumped into someone

"What the heck is up with me and bumping into people" She thought

"No way…" She looked up and saw…

**TBC**

* * *

Sasuke- you gave me what to drink? You made me give dogboy a raise!!

Sakura- **glares and sent flying little demons that look like her inner at Sasuke **What did you say!!

Sasuke-** kneels before Sakura in fear, a barrier line in front of him and with Akamaru as a sacrifice **

Kiba-You're sacrificing my dog!! **glares at authoress** I thought you loved me!!

Me- I do! How dare you!!

Sakura- glares along with authoress

Me and Sakura-SASUKE!!

Proceed at beating Sasuke up

Kiba-hehe

Akamaru- _whimpers and wags tail_

Kiba-Hope you enjoyed this chapter, more to come later

* * *

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**Review and tell me**

**Nikkikay**


	6. Sasuke's Bad News

Thanks for all the reviews! Here's an update!

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I need a disclaimer!?

* * *

_Recap:_

"_No way…" She looked up and saw…_

_End of recap_

* * *

Chapter 6  
Sasuke's Bad News  
Xo-oX

* * *

"Watch where you're going, bitch!" A red-head with thick purple glasses shouted

"Karin…" Sakura grinded through her teeth "No way! I can't believe you still exist! You're so fugly, how come you aren't arrested for walking down the streets?!" Sakura shouted

"What's up, ugly?" I dare you to guess who said that

"Sai…" Sakura glared

"You haven't gotten any prettier" Sai fake-smiled as Sakura threw a punch at him

"Hold on now Sakura" Sasuke wrapped his arms around her waist, preventing her from killing his clone "What are you doing here?"

"Well, if you really want to know, Sasuke-kun…" Karin began…

"Holy shit!" Kiba and Kankuro shouted as they appeared around the corner

"What's up, Inuzuka and Subaku?" Sasuke asked

"I saw the ugly blurry thing on the security monitor/camera, so yea, I came to check it out" Kankuro said

"My dog smelled this evil scent and we followed it here" Kiba shrugged

"Why you!" Karin vein-popped "I'll have you arrested for that comment!!"

"Turns out it was just the Uchiha-clone and the ugly bitch over there" Kankuro said

"Tch, wish it were a blur right now don't cha, Subaku?" Kiba grunted

"Hell yea" Kankuro sighed "Seen a hell of ugly things but THAT' He pointed at Karin "is definitely the worst!"

Sasuke grunted in agreement "Guys, you're excused"

"So, as I was like saying, after like, I was rudely interrupted" Karin began "I'm here because…"

"SECURITY!!" Sakura shouted into her headset and Lee came rushing

"Hai! Reporting for duty, Sakura-san!" Lee said

"Show these…" Sakura used every ounce of self control to say this sentence, so I suggest you readers PAY ATTENTION! "unwanted guests….TO THE EXIT! NOW LEE!!"

"Tch" Sasuke smirked at Sakura's commands as Karin was harshly yanked out from his sight…as Sai just followed her with no opposition against Lee, whatsoever

"Uh, Sasuke?" Sakura was now pissed

"Yea?" Sasuke said placing his head onto her shoulder

Sakura turned her head so that her face was towards his. She screamed "LET ME GO BEFORE I SICK KIBA'S DOG AT YOU!"

Sasuke smirked "Tch, I think you made me death…"

"Oh, Sasu-chan!!" a voice sang

"What the beep is she doing here?" Sasuke said (I don't normally replace cursing with sounds but this is an exception)

"Swear to the lord, you kiss your mother with that mouth, ya big potty-mouth!" Sakura shouted

"Not really" Sasuke blew at some of his hair

"Sasuke! gasp" Mikoto froze for a moment in happiness to see her son hugging a woman

"Hello, mother" Sasuke stood up and had his I'm-being-professional,-mom,-would-you-mind-telling-me–why-the-hell-you're-here look on.

"Sasuke!! You could've told me and your father about her! Well, I guess it's not too late to cancel your engagement to Karin…" Mikoto sighed "You do make a better couple with Sakura-chan here!"

"What did you just say mother!!" Sasuke shouted "I'm not marrying that red-head whose fucking obsessed with me!!"

"Now of course honey, you'll need some time to sort it out with Sakura-dear…" Mikoto tilted her head and smiled cheekily at Sakura

"Uh, Mikoto-san? We're not dating, his hands are apparently just glued to my waist…"Sakura stated

"No, we're dating behind your back and I refuse to marry Karin when I got Sakura" Sasuke stated

"Hmm…I think I kinda trust Sakura-dear more hon, you were never a real romantice" Mikoto stated

"Pfft!" Sakura held in her laughter

"I'll be back in never…" Sasuke dragged Sakura back into his office

"That didn't make sense and why are you dragging me along!!" Sakura shouted

"Cuz you got me into this! You get me out! I am not marrying that freak of nature!!"

"Aww crud, you hate me that much?" Sakura asked

"No, I love you and don't wanna spend the rest of my life with Karin-bitch" Sasuke stated

"Wow, your statement had two negatives and a positive" Sakura stated plainly

"Want me to prove it?" Sasuke leaned close to her…very, very close…

Sakura began to glare and send little tiny demons at Sasuke

"Feh" Sasuke waved them off

Sakura's eyes widened "Fuker, what do I hafta do?"

Sasuke's eyes began to glint as he explained the plan to her

"Aww, dude! Seriously! I have to do that? Come on Sasuke-sama, please!! I seriously don't wanna do that!!" Sakura wailed

"Yes" Sasuke stated

"Just one thing Uchiha, I DO NOT! AND maybe FORVER WILL NOT! LOVE YOU" Sakura gritted her teeth as she left his office (Yes, i hope you readers were very alert as into discover the 'maybe' part was not capitilize...she whispered it to herself, kay?!)

Sasuke smirked "That's what she says…but what does she really feel?"(Oh sure, Sasuke! You can hear Sakura talk to herself but not hear the maybe part in Sakura's dialouge!!)

* * *

Uchiha mansion...

"Gee, Sasuke-kun! You really got to get colorful!" Karin said "I mean, I am marrying you after all and I don't want to live in a house just with black and blue, maybe we could add some orange and yellow just to brighten up the place for when we have kids"

Sasuke vein-popped. This girl had just stepped foot into his domain for 5 seconds and she was already criticizing and making alterations for his drapes, furniture and carpet.

"Karin…we are not getting married and we are DEFINITELY NOT HAVING KIDS!!" Sasuke shouted

"You can say that again. If you two get kids, half the world would die because they're so fugly…Hitler would look like America's Next Top Model compared to your future prodigies" Sakura stated

"What is she doing here!?" Karin pointed rudely at Sakura

"You do know that it's rude to point, where are your manners?" Sakura said plainly "I'm going to change"

"Don't take too long, Saku" Sasuke said

"Why don't you show me to _our_ bedroom, Sasuke-kun" Karin threw him what she thought was a seductive look

Sakura almost gagged "Karin-bitch, this is a house not a zoo, don't make your face look like a monkey in here"

"One, it's _my_ not ours, second, I'm not marrying you!!" Sasuke stated

"Pfft" Sakura huffed "With that plan of yours, just wait and see how your kids would look like" She muttered as she approached her room...

"Dammit!" Sakura turned the doorknob in every which-way she could

"SASUKE!!" Sakura screamed "Why the hell did you lock my door!!"

"Why does she have a room here? IS she one of those whores you sleep with all the time because that's a huge no-no for our engagement Sasuke!" Karin screeched

"Coming, Sa-ku-ra" Sasuke sang trailing up the stairs, glad to be rid of Karin

"You know how much I hate you right now?" Sakura glared

"My situation is ten times worst!" Sasuke said reaching into his back pocket

"Ugh! What is with men and keys in their back pockets!!" Sakura thought (This statement is so not true but I just wanted to add some criticism here)

"There" Sasuke unlocked the door just as Karin was at the top of the stairs

"Come on" Sasuke grabbed Sakura's wrist as he literally threw her into her room and onto her bed

"You are so dead" Sakura blush reddened as Sasuke breathed on her neck

"Just roll with me" Sasuke grunted

Sakura's eyes softened a bit as she felt Karin's presence at the door

She made a small moaning noise from her throat as she felt Sasuke put his lips to her neck

"AIEE!!" Karin screamed at the top of her lungs and fainted

"What's going on here-" Fugaku shouted as he peered into the room

"My, my, Sasuke-dear" Mikoto smiled "Don't think that you can just pretend to do that to Sakura-chan, we know that you're just faking it"

Sasuke glared at the Sakura's headboard of her bed "_Dammit_" He bit down into Sakura's flesh frustrated

"gasp" Sakura's eyes widened as she arched a little forward

Mikoto and Fugaku blinked…

"Alright, Sasuke-dear, but you still have to prove to us that you really, truly love Sakura-chan in order to cancel out your engagement to Karin, one little love-bite to Sakura won't do the trick" Mikoto said "Sai-san, could you be a dear and help with Karin"

"Fine" Sai grunted as he threw the red-head over his shoulder and descended down the stairs, purposely allowing Karin's head to hit the arm rail…over and over again… (Yes! I made Sai evil to Karin! Muah ha ha ha! I mean, so he works as her body guard, doesn't mean he has to like the girl, XP XD)

"Goddamn it! Is she really that hard to convince!!" Sasuke shouted, punching the bed

"_**SASUKE!!**_ You are a DEAD man" Sakura glowered at him

"Aww damn" Sasuke said as he was hit multiple times in the head by an angry, hicky-ed Sakura

**TBC**

* * *

Sasuke -Alright, I'm confused, why does the Subaku work for me when he can work for his brother

Sakura-That, Uchiha-teme, shall be explained in further chapters

Sasuke-Alright, Thanks to all the readers who took the time to actually read this dumb chapter

Sakura-Thanks for all your patience for the update

Sasuke-More to come soon…I hope

* * *

**Love it?**

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**Review and tell me.**

**Nikkikay**


	7. Sakura's New Position

Thanks for all the reviews! Here's an update!

* * *

_Recap:_

"_Goddamn it! Is she really that hard to convince!!!!!" Sasuke shouted, punching the bed_

"_**SASUKE!!!**__ You are a DEAD man" Sakura glowered at him_

"_Aww damn" Sasuke said as he was hit multiple times in the head by an angry, hicky-ed Sakura_

_End of recap_

* * *

**Chapter 7  
Sakura's New Position  
Xo-oX**

* * *

"I hate the ass!!!" Sakura mixed up a salad with a wooden spoon as she continued to make dinner "Why the hell did I hafta do this sorta crap for him!! I swear to God that he is the most useless man ever to walk the earth! Can't even reject a girl in front of his parents! What is he? A coward, THAT'S WHAT HE IS!!"

"Uh, Sak-hon? You've gotta calm down!!!" Ino said on the other line of the phone "What's your problem exactly?"

"HE BIT MY NECK AND NOW I'M INWARDLY-BLEEDING!!" Sakura

"You mean he hicky-ed you?" Ino asked

"Oooh, Sakura's getting kinky with her boss!!" Tenten chimed in the background

"You have me on speaker don't you Ino-pig?" Sakura said

"Yep, here, Hinata wants to tell you something" Ino handed the phone over to Hinata on the other line

"Uh, Sakura just wanted to remind you that you owe us ALL the details!!!" Hinata sang "All in kinky detail, yesh!"

"WHAT!!!" Sakura couldn't believe her ears, had Hinata suddenly turned into Ino? "No way!! Has the evil Prada queen Ino turned you into one of her minions like she did Tenten? NO!! Hinata, you were the only one left whom I could entrust my brownies to!!!!"

A burp was heard in the background

"Aw, HELL NO!! You guys did not just finish eating all my brownies" Sakura added venom to her voice

"Eh, heh heh, BYE!!!" Ino hung up on Sakura

"Damn bitch!!" Sakura glared at her cell phone as she set it down onto the table

"Aww, hell! Might as well get it over with here!" Sakura used her backside to push open the double doors into the dining room. A large plate of salad in her hands

"Would you like me to serve you or would you enjoy self-service?" Sakura asked

"We can help ourselves, Sakura-chan. Thank you for preparing this wonderful meal for us on such short notice" Mikoto-chan smiled at her

"I'm happy that I could cook for such a prestigious family, Mikoto-chan" Sakura said

"Quick, check if it's poisoned" Sasuke said bluntly, forgetting that he was trying to convince his parents that he and Sakura were dating.

"Sasuke, that's no way to treat a lady, much less your 'girlfriend'" Mikoto used air quotes

Sasuke almost choked on his own spit "No worries, she's used to this"

"Oh, really? Sakura-chan, you really allow Sasuke-chan to treat you this way" Mikoto threw her a questioned look

"I have my exceptions to his behavior, though he can be QUITE savage-like at times" Sakura smiled as she inwardly wanted to kill Sasuke

"AHEM" Karin coughed loudly "I'm sorry but are you getting married to Sasuke. I think not!"

"It's not like you are 100% gonna win his heart either" Sakura sneered at her

"Foolish little brother, you home?" A shout came from the doorway "I'm bunking here for a while with Akatsuki till we get a new hideout"

"What!!!!" Sasuke shocked on his water this time and spat it out. He rushed to the doorway

Karin twitched and wiped the water off her face

"Shouldn't you be happy and no mad? Your so-called future husband just gave you a water kiss" Sakura mocked (I'm not sure there's such thing as a water kiss but whatever)

"Why can't they stay at your own place!!!" Sasuke glared at his brother

"Because, the cherry blossom isn't there" Itachi blinked

"Yea!" Deidara said dragging his luggage into the living room

"Hey, Itachi, Sasori, Blondie who I'm gonna kill and everyone else" Sakura stated

"Aww, Sakura-chan!! Show some lov-" Deidara stared at her in her maid uniform

"I refuse to slave after any of you" Sakura stated

"What do you mean by that Sakura-chan?" Pein asked

"Yes, please, darling, answer me when I ask this" Konan came behind him and cupped her cheek (Sry, I just watched _The Adams Family_ so yea….got a little bit of Morticia stuck in me!!)

"You heard me Akatsuki! I REFUSE to slave after any of you pigs!!" Sakura shouted

"What about Tobi!!!" Tobi said as always in this story, a cutesy voice…well at least most of the time

"NO!" Sakura snapped

Tobi cried anime tears

"Oh be a man!" Deidara glared, shamed that he was in the same organization as the masked kid/child/man/wimp/weirdo….you decide what you want to call him

"Oh and Fish-face, better not leave you filth lying around the halls or else I'll show you the true meaning of living hell" Sakura glared

"Ah, my dear Sakura-chan!" Konan spoke to Pein (They're dating/married sorta) "IT delights me to see how vicious a young girl in her 20's can be!"

"Mind you, you were worst" Pein rolled his eyes (O_o … … … … … …)

"So where do we sleep?" Zetsu asked

"Damn fucking pink-haired" Kazuka said

"What did you say!!!!" Sakura proceeded to attacking the poor man…..whereas his partner, Hidan, would be called the rich one!!!

"Sakura!" Mikoto called out from the dining room "Come here, please"

Sakura stopped kicking Kazuka where the sun doesn't shine and entered the dining room, leaving Sasuke to try and defend his homestead

"Yes, Mikoto-chan?" Sakura said

"I'm in need of a favor from you. Would you mind handling it?" Mikoto asked

"Depending on what it is. I refuse to help make Sasuke give you grandkids with Karin. I don't wish to blind by the devil's spawn" Sakura stated

"Oh, of course not! I was hoping that you'd provide me grandkids but oh well!" Mikoto said

"Karin, excuse yourself and leave the room" Mikoto said

Karin spat out her water "What!?!"

"It is rude to spit! Dear lord, how unlady-like!" Mikoto sighed

"HMPH!" She slammed the door behind her and entered the living room where Akatsuki were

"I hope they scare the fuck out of that whore" Sakura muttered

"So about the favor, Sakura. Fugaku and I are willing to pay you 3 million dollars" Mikoto stated

Sakura fell flat on her face "E-excuse me? Did I hear you clearly?"

Fugaku stood up "3 million dollars. Sakura, we will pay you 3 million and nothing more"

"3 million? For a small favor!!!" Sakura shouted

"3 million for 8 months. Within that time period you shall have to change my stubborn son into a romantice or whatever you kids call those men who can actually give us heirs"

"Players?" Sakura asked

"No, we don't want hundreds of little Sasuke's all from different mothers" Mikoto said

"Or from different fathers" Fugaku said

"WHAT!" Mikoto said

"For all we know, Sasuke could be homosexual!" Fugaku said

"You're calling our son _gay_? Mikoto's eyes widened

"No, he just may have intimate relationships with the same gender, that's all" Fugaku said

"Or he may already have impregnated someone" Mikoto spoke with hope

"_Cough cough_ that's virtually impossible" Sakura said

"Well, Sakura-chan," Mikoto took Sakura's hands in hers and held them up to their chins "We want you to make that possible. Make Sasuke loveable, before I die without grandchildren!!!"

"Mikoto…" Sakura felt a pang somewhere in her body

"I know how you feel, having to put up with his cockiness…..well not really" Sakura said "…..Fine, I'll help you but you don't have to pay me….You'll need to save money to lend to Sasuke when no nanny would want to baby-sit your future grandchildren"

With having said that, Sakura went into the kitchen to tend to the dishes

"What have I gotten myself into!?!" Sakura shouted at the top of her lungs

Having Akatsuki around the house, the evil whore, Karin, and her unhelpful pigging-out friends, what will she do!!!Find out next time when we return with the fourth part of Captain Underpants!!!!

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Yo, why the hell are you still scrolling?

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Show's over

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Done

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No more

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Alright since you readers were OH SO PATIENT, I've decided to DRESS UP AS A COW AND DANCE THE HOKEY-POKEY

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…

IF you thought:

A) I was weird

B) that I was crazy for adding so many eclipses

C) thought that I dressed up like that for Halloween

Those who guessed A and B are correct!! Yay for you! Those who thought C…..you don't wanna noe exactly how much I'm glaring and twitching right now…

ON with the freakin' (long for me) chapter!!

---

Next day… (Yes, more eclipses)

Sakura POV

I narrowed my eyes slightly as I eyed my prey. IT was lying there, helplessly, sleeping like a newborn. I dare not make a sound as I stalk towards it; my weapon lay in my hand. Creeping across the battlefield, I avoid the objects that could give my location...such as the rubber ducky in front OF ME!!!_Squeak_ I looked up at my prey, still sound asleep. I let out a breath of relief. GASP!! He moved, maybe he knows!!

End of Sakura POV

"Aww, forget this shit!" Sakura held her blow horn towards Sasuke's snoozing face

"Uchiha! Get up! I ain't afraid to use this!"Sakura shouted

Sasuke reached out his arm and lowered it lifelessly onto Sakura's chest

…

Wait for it

…

NOW!

"UCHIHA!! YOU PERVERT!!!" Sakura pressed down, HARD, onto the horn

_HONK!!!_

Sasuke squeezed it….

Rage and embarrassment clouded Sakura's thoughts as she did the unthinkable!

She went down to the kitchen and took many bottles of barbecue sauce and ketchup….then use them to decorate Sasuke. She then called for the hounds….and then Sasuke was eaten up. THE END!!

Alright that didn't happen.

Sakura grabbed Sasuke by his collar and shook him violently.

"DAMMIT UCHIHA! GET YOUR DAMN HAND OFF MY CHEST!!!" Sakura shouted

Sakura let him go since her attempts were futile.

_HONK!!! UCHIHA! GET UP! I AIN"T AFRAID TO USE THIS!! _Went his alarm…..

Sasuke again lifted his hand lifelessly towards the ringing bells and it turned off

"…" Sakura vein-popped as Sasuke slowly got up and stretched

"_Yawn_ Sakura? What are you doing here? In my room? Sitting on my bed? OH MY GOD!!!! YOU DIDN"T RAPE ME DID YOU!!!" Sasuke shouted

"YOU FAGGOT!" Sakura lunged for his throat and continued to strangle him

"Uh, Sakura?" Naruto suddenly appeared at the door just as Sakura was sitting on Sasuke's abs. His eyes went O-o. "OMG!!! THE RUMORS WERE TRUE!! SAKURA IS GETTING KINKY WITH HER BOSS!!!" Naruto screamed

"Naruto!!" Sakura turned around and lunged…and was held back by Sasuke

"So did you rape me?" Sasuke smirked

Sakura slapped him…

That Afternoon…

"Alright Sasuke, time to start your love rehab. I've been ordered help you get your damn hormones back or at least prove that you do have them" Sakura said dully "We'll start by this" She held out a new LG Shine

"What am I supposed to do with that?" Sasuke crossed his arms

"Didn't you see the commercial? That guy was pigging out and using it to look at that girl's ass." Sakura stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

"So what do I have to do again?" Sasuke questioned

"Do what he did! Look at girls asses with it!!" Sakura said

"There ain't much to look at" Sasuke stated

"We're not even outside yet!!!" Sakura responded frustrated

"I'm not talking about those weird fangirl sluts, I'm talking about you" Sasuke smirked

Sakura's face reddened with anger "Why you damn bastard!!!" She raised her fist

"Nah ah ah" HE said "Who's getting paid so much by me?"

Sakura glared "You are"

"Who? I didn't hear you" Sasuke grinned

"YOU!! HAPPY!!" Sakura seriously wanted to punch him

"Come on, let's go." Sasuke said

Naruto stood at the door to bid them farewell "You know he does have a point…"

Sakura gave him a black eye

"I didn't mean the ass part, I meant the pay part!!!" Naruto whimpered holding a raw steak up to his eye that appeared out of no where (If I say a steak appeared out of nowhere than a steak shall appear out of nowhere!!!)

"This job is gonna kill me…" Sakura thought as she got into his car

* * *

Me-And now we're done, hope you enjoyed the chappie, takes longer for me to update nowadays cause of personal issues

Sakura- What was that comment about my butt?

Me- that was Sasuke not me

Sakura- Sasuke!!!!!

Sasuke- I, as a reporter, swear that I will state the truth and nothing but the truth

Sakura-*Vein-pop*

Me- Sasuke's dead now but before that, end the chappie!!!

Sasuke- Hope you enjoyed the chapter

Sakura- More to come soon hopefully

Everyone- Byez!!!

* * *

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**Review and tell me.**

**~Nikkikay**


	8. Scary Sakura

* * *

Thanks for all the reviews. Here's an update!!!

* * *

_Recap: _

"_This job is gonna kill me…" Sakura thought as she got into his car_

_End of Recap_

* * *

**Chapter 8.  
****Scary Sakura  
****Xo-oX**

* * *

Why did I ever agree to working for that Uchiha bastard. The one thing I regret is that. Well…aside from that time Ino-pig bought me that awesome blouse and I returned it 'cause it was a hand-me down. Oh, woe is me! Take me already, gods! I confess to every sin I ever committed…….. but that time about Naruto using his toothbrush after I dropped it into the toilet, it was TOTALLY an ACCIDENT! Crap…

* * *

"Where we going?" Sasuke asked as he stopped at a red light

"The café over on that place, you know, the post office" Sakura said

"Cara Mia?" Sasuke asked

"You better be saying the name and not be saying sweet nothings" Sakura looked at him with accusing eyes

"You're supposed to say 'Mon Cheri' back" Sasuke hinted

"Only when you're dreaming" Sakura scoffed

"Hang on, I gotta get gas" Sasuke turned left towards the gas station.

"You know, this would be a great chance for you to save the environment" Sakura said

"What? Buy a hybrid?" Sasuke's eyebrows arched up

"We're working on your rehab, aren't we?" Sakura said

Insert glare from Sasuke here

"Well, then we should start" Sakura said "First off, get a car that runs on methane gas"

"You're suggesting that I should use cow fart to run my car" Sasuke said taking out his credit card, sliding it and inserting the nozzle into his car

"No -insert anything disgusting in here that has to do with Naruto, the person, not the storyline-, yes I'm saying cow fart!!!" Sakura seriously wanted to strangle him now

"Where am I gonna get cow gas?" Sasuke glared

"Oh, I don't know! Let's ask a cow exactly how it gets its fart!" Sakura said

Sasuke's glare intensified 10 times.

"Stop glaring, the wind shall change and your face will then mutate itself into the hideous man you are now" Sakura sighed "and then no one can save you from eternal damnation"

"I glare at you all the time" Sasuke smirked

"Well, it's no wonder you're so….ugh!" She shuddered

"Shut up" Sasuke ordered

Sakura sighed "You know Sasuke-Bastard; denial is the first step towards living alone with 42 cats"

-----

A while later…

"Turn on the radio" Sakura said "I'm sick of hearing your monotone voice"

Sasuke turned it up

The song's melody was good but Sakura didn't like the lyrics

She began to sing

"Can you feel the love tonight?

Slowly killing you

I'm so happy

Can you believe my luck?

…

Oh can you feel see the blood tonight

Draining from your veins

You're slowly dying

I am so happy

Oh can you feel my love?"

At their destination…

"Sakura, could you get anymore wicked and evil?" Sasuke asked

"Would you like a demonstration?" Sakura asked

* * *

In Sasuke's mind…

_Sakura sitting on him._

_Him chained to a large king size bed._

_Her wearing a bunny suit._

_His eyes wide and his mouth open in terror._

_Her tickling him with a feather._

(A/N: Its meant to be written this way, don't correct me! STUPID MICROSOFT!!)

* * *

In Sakura's mind…

_Her sitting on Sasuke._

_Him chained to a large king size bed._

_Her wearing a bunny suit. (_Where the hell did you think of this Sakura? A motel?)

_His eyes wide and his mouth open in terror._

_Her stuffing sweets down his throat!_

_--_

Sakura turned to Sasuke, her eyes glowed with mischief. She led him to Cara Mia Café. (Yup, Adam's family still stuck in my head even after so many months.)

"Start staring, Uchiha" Sakura said ordering a latte and a croissant from the waitress "Make it a Vanilla ice-cream strawberry crepe instead please"

"No prob. And what would you like handsome?" The waitress leaned over, unbuttoning 2 buttons on her uniform, showing off her 'cleavage'

"Black coffee" Sasuke simply said, paying no mind to her

Sakura sighed 'This'll definitely take time to work on his attitude' She thought

"So Sakura…about the topic of 'us'" he used air quotes

"Don't say it! There is no 'us'" She said "You're getting married to Karin whether you love her or not"

"Mom neva said anythin' bout marryin' another woman" Sasuke smirked, looking at her straight in the eyes

Sakura looked away, waiting for her crepe. "I'm supposed to train you into being of marriage-able status"

"Yes, and my job is to make you fall for me" Sasuke stated "No way in hell will I marry that whore"

"That will never happen" Sakura said as Sasuke gripped his hands gently on her wrists

"Not if I can help it" Sasuke looked down at her

"You know what Sasuke? Damn you. Damn you to tellitubbie hell!!" Sakura pouted "There's no way that I will EVER fall for you again!"

"Sa-ku-ra? Are you pms-ing again? There's no such thing as a hell where tellitubbies rule" Sasuke sweatdropped

"Absolutely not! How could you even think that in public?!?" Sakura threw him a look

"You're the one thinking of weird things" Sasuke said "Tch, wanting me to look at women"

"DO YOU EVEN HAVE HORMONES!?" Sakura shouted outraged "You're inferior even towards Naruto!!

Sasuke sighed "Just because I don't find any woman in particular appealing to me doesn't mean that I'm lacking hormones"

"Sasuke, Naruto's getting married in two weeks" Sakura stated

Sasuke spat out his coffee onto Sakura's nice sky blue blouse "Seriously? That dobe found a girl who was dumb enough to like him?"

Sakura twitched "SASUKE UCHIHA!! This was brand new!!!" In other words, she was furious that she had a black stain (a hot stain….it BURNS!!) on her really expensive blouse in which Ino dragged her to 5 different malls to find it. "And Naruto is marrying Hinata, at last"

"That dobe finally realized that it was her stalking him and not the Easter bunny?" Sasuke inquired

"Yup" Sakura replied trying to wipe off the coffee

"Sakura? You might wanna get a towel or something; you got a lil...yea...." Naruto said popping out of nowhere

"Where'd you come from you nutcase?" Sakura asked forgetting about the incident

"Oh, we're just passing by the place. I'm going to my bachelor's party at the night club later" Naruto said "just checking and making sure that they prepared everything"

"Bachelor's party?" Sakura's eye beamed with satisfaction "Sasuke, you are going to that party"

"And why would I go to the dobe's party? It'll be just as lame as he is!" Sasuke muttered

"I didn't even invite him, Sakura-chan!! He'll ruin everything! I even got a pin-the-tail-on-the-teme thing!! It took forever to get that by delivery! Did you know that when they say 'rush delivery' they mean they'll get it to you by dropping the package from a helicopter?"

"Because, Sasuke, if you don't go, I will post up pictures of you two cuddling next to each other sucking your thumbs on the internet! And yes, I resort to blackmail at times like this!" Sakura yanked the two men by their collars "Understand?"

Sasuke smirked "so you do have –"

"THAT"S NOT THE POINT!!" Sakura glared "When's the party?"

"Today" Naruto said

"I mean what time you SON OF A $$&#$%&" Sakura shouted

"Scary Sakura-chan….at 7 PM to 3 AM" Naruto said

"7 PM to what? Hinata seriously let you out this late partying?" Sakura looked confused

"Nah, it's just that she and the girls are busy with the planning so that I can get away with this stuff" Naruto snickered

"Figures" Sakura thought "Alright Naruto, you're in charge of Sasuke for the night"

"WHAT? Why do I have to baby-sit the teme?" Naruto shouted

"Because if you don't, I will scoop your eyeballs out with this quarter" She picked up said quarter from the change she got from paying the bill "and then make you eat them" She cackled lunatic-ally

"Sakura?" Sasuke finally spoke up

"What?" Sakura said "You're ruining my threatening mojo"

"Your bra's showing" Sasuke smirked as Sakura released them and Naruto ran away

"You freaking! Why'd you do that?" Sakura said "I had him on the verge of wetting his pants"

"He paid me" Sasuke said

"Aren't you already filthy rich already?" Sakura questioned

"Yup, but I'm always in the mood to make a quick buck" Sasuke grabbed his coat

"Go be a male-prostitute then, you'll make millions" Sakura said

"I already do" Sasuke said

Insert Sakura's face here like this O_o

"You're that desperate for a lay and yet you don't have hormones?" Sakura twitched

"Sakura, think properly. I am the owner of Uchiha Corps. You'd think I make millions every day" Sasuke said

"Ohhh" Sakura was forced to forget her plans on posting a website on the net called '_uchiha_is_whoring_around, any_'

"Come on, we're leaving" Sasuke said

"I'm going home, I need to change. Then I have a party to go to myself" Sakura said

"Hinata's bachelorette party?" Sasuke said seat belting

"Yup, I gotta convince Kiba's crazy wife to not drink so much, it'll probably kill her unborn daughter. Then I'm heading over to Tenten's to fix a problem with her car. Then I'm going to Ino's to pick out an outfit and finally Hinata's party" Sakura sighed "ugh, this is gong to go well"

Sakura thought about all the things she had to do before the party. They worst thing she feared was about to happen. She'd have to wear 6 inch heels or pumps with a push-up bra later on that night. What'll be in store for the exhausted pinkette? Find out next time! Hopefully, there'll be a next time. MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!!

* * *

Sakura- Gomen for the 2 month break but the authoress seems to be brain dead out of ideas thanks to her new social life

Me- Yes, the girl who sits hours in front of the computer trying to think of something to write for this story finally got one. You may all celebrate or freak out now.

Sasuke- Tch, and you can't even take 3 hours to write one chapter!

Sakura- She spends that time in the shower, actually cleaning!! Unlike you smelly Uchiha who takes a 5 minute shower!!

Sasuke- And how would you know that huh, Sakura? You peek at me?

Me- Not this again….Oh well, hope you liked it. I got nothing from Santa (who apparently didn't even bother to throw coal at my windows) just so you know. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas filled with love, joy and fruit cake that no one seriously likes, CYA!

* * *

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**Review and tell me.**

**~Nikkikay**


	9. Crashed Party

Thanks for all the reviews!! Here's an update! This chapter was rushed, so sorry! ROSA THIS IS FOR YOU *slaps ur face* i luv u 4 forcing me outta my depression into doin this *hugz* that doesn't mean i'm 100% cured yet!

* * *

_Recap:_

"_Yup, I gotta convince Kiba's crazy wife to not drink so much, it'll probably kill her unborn daughter. Then I'm heading over to Tenten's to fix a problem with her car. Then I'm going to Ino's to pick out an outfit and finally Hinata's party" Sakura sighed "ugh, this is gong to go well"_

_End of recap_

* * *

**Chapter 9.  
****Crashed Party  
****oX-Xo**

* * *

Sakura sighed. After having coffee spilled all over her favorite blouse, she headed home. Not a good idea because chaos rules wherever you are, and no, viewers. Chaos doesn't make an exception even if you're taking a toilet break.

"SAKURA-CHAN!!" Deidara grabbed her in a bear hug

"Dei-dei, I'm not in the mood" Sakura said

"What's this hon?" Konan said "you're not in the mood to punch the blonde idiot" Her blue locks flowed down to her waist; it was obvious that Konan had just woken up.

"Quick! Get her some coffee!!!" Deidara shouted

Sakura gritted her teeth, the last thing she wanted to see or smell was coffee.

Tobi came running into the room with a hot cup of mocca. He tripped on a bug and spilled the coffee all over Sakura….around her pants area

"AIEE!!" Sakura shouted "Tobi!! You bitch!!! I should kill you for this!"

Everyone's eyes lit up

"Be glad I'm not in the mood still!!" Sakura trudged up the stairs to her room

"Alright, coffee didn't work……QUICK! Get the jumper cables!" Deidara shouted. Sasori threw a lamp at his head

"Baka!" Sasori went on with his reading.

In Sakura's room after her shower…

_Knock Knock _

"Sakura dear? Are you okay?" Konan asked

"Yes, Konan. I'm just a little frustrated right now. Stressed out you could say" Sakura explained

"Too much stress from trying to provide the Uchiha a kid?" Konan asked

Sakura gave her a WTF-are-you-going-at-woman look. "Have you gone mad?"

"Ah. Then you must be at the time where women have only one thing on their minds." Konan said

"I'm not crazy for men, I went through that stage already and look where that got me, working under a bastard with an awesome pay" Sakura said

"I wasn't talking about men, I was talking about homicide" Konan said.

"Ehh…sure Konan" Sakura said "well, I've gotta go do everything in my agenda before Hinata's party. Are you guys coming?"

"Perhaps but we are not sure yet. Our decision is so far inconclusive" Konan hugged her

"Alright then, I'll see you when I get back" Sakura returned the hug before jamming a pair with paint-covered overalls into her duffle bag. "Ja ne!"

Konan shut the door behind Sakura as she heard the front door slam shut.

At Kiba's place…

"No drinking you hear me!!!" Sakura shouted

"I'll drink all I want!!!" Kiba's wife shouted

"Nice choice of a wife Kiba" Sakura thought "She's already drunk in the afternoon."

"Are you trying to kill your kid?" Sakura shouted

"Are you saying that I'm a bad mother?" His wife slurred

"Girl, reality check, you're drunk at 2 PM. Hinata's party is in a couple hours"

"OH shit! I'd betta put away this crap and get something to wear!!!!" She shot up…

"You're gonna have a hangover" Sakura thought as Kiba's wife ran to the sink and puked. "Scratch that, you are having a hangover. At least you don't smoke."

Sakura held Kiba's wife's hair as she continued to puke because of her pregnancy and the beer.

--

One hour later

"Tenten!!!!!!!!" Sakura shouted almost destroying her friends doorbell

"Yea? Sorry I took so long. Music's on too high" Tenten said

"You sure? I didn't hear a thing on" Sakura said

"Uh…so about my car" Tenten said changing the subject

"I've got my clothes, let me change and then show me the problem. " Sakura said

"Thanks, you're an awesome friend!" Tenten said

"No problem Tenny" Sakura said heading for the bathroom.

--

"Next time DON'T leave THIS kinda stuff in your engine!!!" Sakura scolded as she held out a pair of worn-out nun chucks (sp?)

"I swear Sakura! I didn't know that they were there!" Tenten raised her hands up in defense

"Sure, sure Tenten!" Sakura said

"I swear it won't happen again!" Tenten said

"Oh, it better not. Cause if it does, I'm going to take your license and rip it into tiny little shreds! As well as your membership card to Weapons 'R Us!!!" Sakura threatened

"Hai, hai, hai! Tenten shouted shoving Sakura out of her door

"You better be at the party on time! And you'd better be wearing a dress!" Sakura said walking to her car

"Time for hell to come" Sakura thought as she drove towards Ino's house

--

"Took you long enough Fore-head!!!" Ino grabbed Sakura's wrist and pulled her into the house "Alright, I've got seventeen outfits that I can wear. Should I go with the cute and innocent look, fierce and wild one, or the fiery and flirty look?"

"Sure as hell no with the cute and innocent look! You ain't been cute or innocent eva in your life, Pig!" Sakura said calmly sitting down on Ino's massive bed

Ino glared at Sakura "Bill-board Brow, be serious! This is HINATA"S ENGAGEMENT PARTY!!"

"I read the invitation card, Ino. I know what I'm doing here" Sakura said "Fiery and flirty just to get a certain pineapple head's attention" Sakura winked

Ino immediately turned scarlet "Alright then!"

"Heh, glad that's over with" Sakura thought

"Now, which one is better? The lavender one or aqua-ish one?" Ino held the two dresses in front of her "Then help me with deciding which lipstick I should use!"

"Dear lord!!!! Kill me now or let me drop dead!" Sakura pleaded with all her heart

--

2 Hours later…

"Are you fucking done yet you PIG!!!!" Sakura said "I'm on the verge of using a watermelon as a cantaloupe!!!"

"That didn't make sense fore-head" Ino said

"Doesn't that mean anything to you? You know like a sign, like SAKURA OVER HERE IS GOIN TO EXPLODE BECAUSE A FAT INO PIG CAN"T PICK OUT WHAT BRAND OF MASCARA SHE WANTS TO WEAR!!!!!"

"Chill, I'm done." Ino said "We can go now"

"Finally!" Sakura tapped her foot impatiently on the floor as her red ruffled gown sashayed on the floor. Her hair was coming undone do to the walking in circles she went through. A few locks of pink hair covered her eyes as black chopsticks held up her bun. "Move it!!!"

Traffic Jam time! (You know you can't get to a party w/o going through one XDD)

"MOVE IT BUCKO!! I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY HERE!" Sakura blasted her horn

"I told you we should've brought the limo." Ino said

"We're going to an engagement party, not to the Academy Awards" Sakura reasoned

"Like I give a damn!" Ino shouted "I hate the attention we're getting!"

"Who the hell told you to wear that?" Sakura shouted

"You did." Ino glared

"I suggested you wear this, SUGGESTED, not TELL. There's a difference you know." Sakura said

"Yeah, like there's a difference between a spork and a foon" Ino said

"A foon doesn't exist. A spork's a spoon that have teeth or whatever those things are at the tip" Sakura said

"A girl can dream can't she?" Ino shouted

"Sure, like you dreamed that Chicken-Butt once stripped down for you" Sakura said "Just wait till Shikamaru hears about it"

"You swore you'd never tell!!!" Ino said

"I never said tell, Ino. I said 'wait till he HEARS about it. There's a difference you know" Sakura was enjoying the fact that she was annoying Ino.

"Just drive!!!" Ino crossed her arms and huffed

"Yes, your majesty." Sakura smirked

Just then, another car pulled up beside them and the guys in it began to flirt with them.

"Hey, ladies. Where're you going dressed up all fine?" The driver smirked

"Just ignore them" Ino whispered into Sakura's ear "Don't get intimidated by them"

"I'm trying, Ino. I'm trying!" Sakura glared at the street light. She hated guys who flirted with her and got annoyed easily

"Hey, answer me 'lil ladies." The dude asked again. His friends snickered in the back. "I'm talking to you!" He grabbed Ino's hand. This action violated everything Sakura was against. She was mad enough this dude had the nerve to touch her friend

"Listen, jack-ass! Let go off my friend before I floor it and drag you along!" Sakura clenched her teeth

"Oh. Fiesty! He, I like" The guy said, looking straight into Sakura's eyes, not letting go of Ino "What'd you say bout joining me and my friends for a couple hours for a few drinks? Our treat."

"Lemme answer that in the most lady like way I could. FUCK OFF BASTARD!" Sakura glared as the light turned green. "Ino, stop playing games"

"Fine," Ino sighed "I was having so much fun toying with this dude too"

_BEEP BEEP_

Ino extended her hand out to the man's face and with one quick flick of her finger to his forehead, they were off, the guy's remains trailing behind them…..alright that didn't happen but I wish it did. Sakura revved the car over the guy's foot.

"FUCK!" went the dude. "Damn it! What is with chicks these days? What happen to pepper spray?" (Do you need a license to own pepper spray? =_=')

"Finally!" Ino said as she stepped out of the car onto the pavement.

"Yeah, yeah. Ino-pig" Sakura slammed the door to her car and locked it.

"Come on Fore-head girl! We're already late!" Ino giggled

"In your terms, it's 'fashionably' late" Sakura said catching up to Ino's pace. She opened the door to the restaurant/bar.

A scream was heard. The lights went out.

"HINATA-CHAN!" was the last thing that came out of Naruto's mouth

* * *

Me- I'm so sorry to you readers! I've been preoccupied but I think I'll be updating a little more frequently now…or not.

Sakura- Shaddup, no one cares if your state testing is coming up. stop bringing up your personal feelings.

Sasuke- Tch, you can say that again

Me- Screw you arrogant chicken butt.

Sakura- Just so you know readers, her writer's block is over….but now she's got exams, which is stupid.

Sasuke- So fail

Me- Till next time then! Thanks for reading and being so patient! More to come as soon as I can!

Sakura and Sasuke in unison- JA!

* * *

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**Review and tell me.**

**~Nikkikay**


	10. Sober No More

Thanks for all the reviews! Here's an update:

Disclaimer: Thou shall bow down before me in my epic-ness. And by me, I mean the creator of Naruto. BOW DOWN PEOPLES!

WARNING: Includes some type of sexual content, nothing serious though. You guys probably might not even understand what I'm talking about. THERE'S NO LEMON IN THIS STORY! NO LEMON!!!! Please proceed as to reading this lame ass chapter which took me months to write. Much appreciated.

* * *

_Recap:_

"_Come on Fore-head girl! We're already late!" Ino giggled_

"_In your terms, it's 'fashionably' late" Sakura said catching up to Ino's pace. She opened the door to the restaurant/bar._

_A scream was heard. The lights went out._

"_HINATA-CHAN!" was the last thing that came out of Naruto's mouth_

_End of Recap_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 10**

**Sober No more**

**oX-Xo

* * *

**

"Oh my god……." Sakura covered her mouth with her hand. She couldn't believe her eyes as the lights were fixed

"Who could've done this? It's only been 10 minutes since the party started!!!!!!!!!!" Ino shouted flabbergasted

Hinata laid on the floor, her once long flowing hair had been cut off.

"Hinata-chan" The bride's groom to be knelt to her side and took her hand in his. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine really. I am, just a bit shaken" Hinata pulled herself off the ground

"What happened? I demand to know this instant!" Hiashi stamped his foot impatiently on the floor.

"It's alright father. The cook just slipped on some spilled water and cut my hair" Hinata said

"And how can that be possible? This isn't just a mere coincidence you know! How can you be so calm about this!?!"

"Because it's just hair! I could care less about my hair. There are more important matters to deal with then a simple haircut!" Hinata shouted "Now Father could you loosen up just a little bit for my party!?!"

"…if that's want you wish" Hiashi said

"Now, let's have some fun!" Hinata grabbed a bottle of wine and un-corked it

Sakura and Ino found their way to their seats and set their things down before heading towards the buffet table.

"So where's chicken-butt?" Sakura asked Naruto

"He was here about 10 minutes ago. Maybe he went to the bathroom to jack off or something" Naruto shrugged

Sakura gave him a 'WTF-did-you-just-say-to-me?-Are-you-looking-for-an-early-death?' look

"WHAT!?!" Naruto defended "That's what I do when-" he was cut off

"TMI Naruto, way too much info" Sakura covered his mouth "And shouldn't you be at your own bachelor's party?"

"Yeah but it can wait" Naruto said "All the guys are still asleep or drunk somewhere"

"Alright then. But you better remember that you're watching him for the night" Sakura said "if anything happens to the bastard, it's your funeral Uzumaki" Sakura said

"Sasuke-teme can take care of himself Sakura-chan. Don't worry so much. I thought you hated teme" Naruto said

Sakura blushed lightly "I do but he's my boss and my bills depends on his checks to me to be paid off"

"You could just marry the teme and you wouldn't have to worry about those kinda things anymore Sakura-chan"

Sakura held up a glass of red wine "Now let's not talk about these petty things Naruto, tonight is you're bachelor's party. Let's focus on you and Hinata instead of me and Sasuke"

Naruto clanked his glass of wine to her "cheers"

-

-

-

Later that evening at Naruto's bachelor party…

"Hey teme!" Naruto raised his glass "Guess what!?!" he slurred.

"Hn dobe" The Uchiha tried to keep his cool but unfortunately, he was drunk

"Sakura-chan's gots the hots for you!!!!" Naruto downed another shot

"Sure, sure" Sasuke said sarcastically as he turned to the bartender "More sake"

-

-

-

_Ring Ring_

"Wassup? Sakura here" Sakura slurred, she had drunken a bit more than her usual amount

"Sa _hiccup_ Kura!" Naruto said "Oi! Pick up the teme! He's too druuuuuuunnnnnnnnk"

"Sound like you are too" Sakura tried her best to sound normal "I'll be there in about 10 minutes"

"Hey teme! Ya hear that? Sakura's coming to pick you up" Naruto chuckled

"Ahhh screw you dobe!" Sasuke fell on his head with a thud

"You'll be _hiccup_ thanking me _hiccup_ later _hiccup hiccup_" Naruto smirked

-

-

-

10 mins later

Naruto grunted loudly as he tried lifting and dragging Sasuke to the car

"GAHHH! DAMMIT! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN EATING TEME!?!" Naruto groaned "YOU WEIGH AS MUCH AS CHOJI!!!!!!!"

Sakura shot Naruto a glare

"Oh…hehe…I forgot" Naruto laughed sheepishly "You're cooking for him"

They buckled Sasuke into the passenger's seat.

"Yeah Naruto, why don't you come over and allow me to cook your dinner for you? I make a mean salad of green chili peppers and bananas!" Sakura shouted (A/N: Not sure if that exists :P Oh wellz)

"Ehhh, no thanks Sakura-chan. I'm a married man, I have a family to look after you know" Naruto opened the door for Sakura and pushed her in "Alright, it was nice having you over! Come again some other time!"

"NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!" Sakura screamed

"JA!" Naruto ran for his life back into the restaurant

-

-

-

Back at the mansion…

"Grrrrr" Sakura frowned. Today was not a fun day for her.

There she stood. In front of the place she called prison and home. Sasuke's home to be exact. What she saw didn't please her one bit. Akatsuki had thrown a party of their own…one in which they tee-peed their own mansion. And who was left to clean it up? Ahh, dear reader, I'm sure that you're well aware of who it is that was left with such a chore.

Sakura let out a breath. Sasuke and his drunken form had one arm slung over Sakura's shoulder, weighing her down greatly.

Sakura inhaled and exhaled.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

"UCHIHA ITACHI! YOU GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS DOWN HERE AND OPEN THIS DOOR THIS SECOND!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO RIP OFF YOUR GUTS OUT AND MAKE SURE YOU CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU!!!!!"

Huff

Puff

Huff

Puff

That felt nice, now didn't it?

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

1 min 29 seconds 36 milliseconds later

"Ahh Sakura-san" Itachi said coolly "I've seen that you've returned. Did you enjoy your evening?"

Sakura twitched.

"ENOUGH WITH THE FORMALITY YOU BASTARD AND HELP ME GET YOU SACK OF SHIT OF A BROTHER UP TO HIS ROOM GODDAMMIT!!!!" Sakura shouted

Itachi peered down at the form of Sasuke, a.k.a. the sack of shit of his brother.

"Alright" Itachi slung his brother's other hand over his shoulder and the two of them dragged Sasuke's lazy ass up the stairs.

"Here we are, Sakura-san" Itachi said, letting go of Sasuke's arm as they reached the door to his room

"WELL? You could at least help me get him in!" Sakura said

"Oh. So sorry Sakura-san. Little Otoutou here won't let me anywhere near his stuff. He's afraid that I'll steal things or something. How foolish of him, don't you agree?"

Sakura twitched.

"You're useless" Sakura said as she proceeded to drag Sasuke's rich ass into his room.

"End of the line you goddamned oaf!" Sakura let go of Sasuke's drunken form fall onto the bed…unfortunately, the half asleep Sasuke wasn't about to let go anytime soon. He dragged her down with him.

"ITACHI!" Sakura shouted "GET YOUR DAMN BROTHER OFF ME!!!!"

"As I've told you before, no can do Sakura. I'm sorry." Itachi started to walk away

"ITACHI!!" Sakura screamed "ITACHI UCHIHA! GET YOU'RE FUCKING ASS BACK HERE THIS SECOND! JUST WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! ITACHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Itachi walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where all the other Akatsuki members were. They had a questioning look on their faces as they heard the screaming.

Itachi took on look at them and said the following sentence:

"My fellow Akatsuki members, this just proves that our dear little Sakura-chan is a screamer."

* * *

Me- MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! Err….lady down as well? Lolz

Sakura- _Glares_

Me- The blame is not mine for the taking _Points to Sasuke _All yours Sakura

Sasuke- _Smirks_ Screamer now are we?

Sakura- _Pummels Sasuke to a pulp_

Me- I'm so sorry for such a late update! I haven't been in the story for a while! GAHHH I hate writer's block dammit! FORGIVE ME! TT^TT It seems rushed, I'm well aware of that but I just suddenly had an idea and I desperately had to write it down..or in this case type. Gah! my fingers ache! Hope you enjoyed the story! More to come soon I pray.

* * *

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**Review and tell me.**

**~Nikkikay**


	11. Office Inspiration

Thanks for all the reviews and your loyalty! Obviously, I am a failure for taking years to write this chapter. You may hate me. But look on the bright side, I've matured and there shall be less derogatory language in this chapter! (hopefully).

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Any accusation of my owning Naruto will result in IMMEDIATE being wrongness!

* * *

Flashback:

"_ITACHI!" Sakura screamed "ITACHI UCHIHA! GET YOU'RE FUCKING ASS BACK HERE THIS SECOND! JUST WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! ITACHI!"_

_Itachi walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where all the other Akatsuki members were. They had a questioning look on their faces as they heard the screaming._

_Itachi took on look at them and said the following sentence:_

"_My fellow Akatsuki members, this just proves that our dear little Sakura-chan is a screamer."_

End of Flashback

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**Office Inspiration**

**oX-Xo**

* * *

_The following day…_

"Mmmhhh" Sakura moaned softly as sunlight (in Sasuke's room :O) reached her eyes.

She yawn and stretched her arms out, glancing to the clock at her right.

"Only 10 o' clock." She yawned again. "I still have time before I have to wake up that duck butt up"

Sakura wrapped her arms around the thing she was sleeping on.

It _chuckled._

"Getting comfy now are we Sa-ku-ra?" Sasuke purred her name out.

Sakura's eyes shot open and she scrambled of off him.

"I…you…how…!" She glared at him. "You RAPIST!"

And the beating of Sasuke with one of his pillows ensued.

"Now _hit_ Sakura _hit _would you just _hit_ LISTEN TO ME! _Hit hit hit_" Sasuke frowned and glared at her.

Sakura stopped, her hands gripping tightly onto the pillow. Fiery passion in her eyes as she controlled every fiber of her being to not muffle Sasuke to death with his pillow.

"WHAT! WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU! YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF POOR LITTLE SAKURA WHEN SHE WAS WEAK AND VULNERABLE!"

Sakura and Sasuke both looked at the door.

Deidara looked sheepishly at the two.

"Don't get too rough with my Sakura-chan you teme! And Sakura-Chan, don't get too kinky with your boss"

And after receiving an alarm clock, a lamp, a bed-side counter table thingy, a phone, a painting and a hammer to his head, Deidara backed away from the door.

Back to business!

Sakura glared with equal passion and fury into Sasuke's eyes as Sasuke began to explain.

"You woke up on top of me Sakura. You, on me. If anything you violated me. And how do you explain my being on top of you when we got back here after the party and you being on top of me when we woke up!" Sasuke smirked. "I dare you to beat that logic"

Sakura fumed and pointed accusingly at Sasuke's face.

"Well, _Uchiha-sama, _there is the possibility of you waking up in the middle of the night and flipping us over because you finally had the heart to understand that with your size, you would be crushing me!"

Sakura pondered for a moment.

"WAIT! Scratch that, you DON'T have the heart to understand that so!" Sakura turned pale "How did I manage to get on top of you?"

Sasuke looked at her blankly.

"Oh my god! I'm a sleep walker!" Sakura threw the pillow into the air and grab Sasuke by his shoulders, shaking him furiously. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!"

Sasuke held her still by her forearms "That you probably raped me?"

Sakura glared at him and ranted for a good ten minutes "No! Be serious. I'm too innocent to do that to a demon like you! THIS means that I might be wrong that time I yelled at Ino-pig for sleep-walking and eating all of the ice cream in our apartment! This means that there's a possibility that I could've done it!"

"Sakura…" Sasuke looked deeply into her eyes and inched closer to her.

Sakura stopped her long rant and blushed gently as realized that Sasuke was staring at her.

Sasuke flicked his tongue out, gliding it along Sakura lips.

He licked his own lips and smirked.

Sakura blushed even deeper.

His lips slammed against hers.

"Yum" He smirked as they parted and licked her lips again.

Dazed at first, Sakura slowly gained knowledge of what had just occurred.

"UCHIHA!"

She slammed her fist against his face.

Ouch.

* * *

At the Office…

"Here are the notes for the press conference you are due to have on the 24th of April with Gaara-sama from Sabaku Corporations." Sakura handed over the flimsy loose leaf papers over to Sasuke. (A/N: This is a random date. I haven't written for about 3 years. I feel sad. I feel motivated to make it up to you.)

Sasuke looked through the notes quickly.

"Sakura, if I'm mistaken, there isn't supposed to be a press conference. It was to be a private meeting."

"My apologies, Uchiha-sama." Sakura vein-popped. She knew that Sasuke was simply causing her more trouble by feigning ignorance. "Allow me to reiterate what Gaara-sama had decided to do. Because you and Gaara-sama are planning to globalize your companies even further to be known as 'sister' companies, he thought it would be best if the press could publicize this through a press conference to engage further competition. With further competition engaged, the two of you would be more motivated to increase the amount of power/influence your companies have in the global economy. And with more publicity, there is a small percentage that you will find a woman who deems you humane enough to live in her household for the rest of her life." (A/N: Thanks to Modern World History class, I actually have a **slight** clue on what I'm saying here.)

Sakura smiled sweetly to spite Sasuke even further.

"Sakura, all that may as well be true but I am still pretty sure I never agreed to have a press conference."

"I'm sorry, Uchiha-sama. Would you like me to contact Gaara-sama to notify him of the changes in the plan? I'm sure he would definitely appreciate it, seeing how this had been planned since the meeting a while back."

"Are you referring to the meeting in which you almost slipped up?"

"Yes, I am indeed referring to that meeting."

"Well then, call Sabaku and tell him the change in plans."

"Right away, sir."

Sakura looked up to the ceiling, to the wall, to the floor, to the window for a good 2 minutes.

"He said that he's unwilling to make any changes, Uchiha-sama."

Sasuke twitched.

"Sakura. You didn't even PICK UP your phone to dial!"

"There was no need, sir. Gaara-sama instinctively told me that he would not allow any changes in plans."

"Well that's great! And may I remind you, exactly whom to you work for again Sakura?"

"Well that would be you Sasuke, but then again, your father who is paying me quite a large sum of money to turn you into a man worthy of some poor female on this planet in 8 months which also makes him my boss. And because in the hierarchy of the jungle world known as Economics, him being your father makes him more powerful than you are. Even if he is retired. And because I have permission to use all methods needed to complete my task, I have full right to be my womanly-self and to treat you as the lowly earthworm you are. And by that, I mean disrespecting you rudely and condemning you to hell whenever the situation demands so. Such as this one."

Sasuke glared.

"No amount of glaring will change my mind Sasuke. And don't you think I'm used to that by now? I mean, we DID spend 4 years in high school together REMEMBER?"

"…Of course I remember those lovely 4 years, Sa-ku-ra." Sasuke purred her name out to spite her. "That was when you confessed you undying love for me, REMEMBER?"

"And by un-dying, I probably had some sort of Deidara-related speech issue back then and meant to inform you of my dying love for you. I obviously felt that even you in your lowly state deserved to be notified that at one point in your life, you had the honor of being admired by the awesome me. "

Sasuke smirked.

"Well alright then, Sakura-chan. I have only one question to ask now."

"No, Sasuke. I am not still in love with you. As you should be able to tell from the treatment you've received in the past few weeks where you have made countless attempts to 'woo' me and whatnot. And I'd much rather to keep personal things out of professional environments, thank you very much."

"I see someone's getting a bit big-headed."

"Um, excuse me boy. No."

"What I wanted to ask you was the reason behind you calling Sabaku by his first name in the professional environment. Seeing how you stated you preferred to separate personal from professional." (A/N: I'm going to assume you, the reader, know that there is some major difference from calling someone by the first name rather than the surname/last name in Japan. I've only a tiny idea wrapped around it but it has something to do with knowing someone really well/personally I think. Also, I'm going to have the setting of this story be in Konoha, "Japan" because I totally forgot where I had this story set in. Yes, I am a terrible authoress. No you may not burn me at the stake.)

Sakura felt surprised.

"Sasuke, that's none of your damn business so get back to work."

"Tch. Go get me coffee."

"As if there was anything other than that you would want me to get." Sakura rolled her eyes and turned to leave.

"I'd like for you to get laid, Sakura." Sasuke said right as Sakura reached the door. "By me of course."

Sakura turned around to face Sasuke, face-twitching, eyes glaring.

"What was that Sasuke?"

"You heard me Sakura"

Sakura threw a potted plant, conveniently located by the doorway, at Sasuke's head.

She missed.

Sasuke smirked in triumph.

"Oh and Sakura? If you are going to try to get me to be a romantice, here's a clue: I'm thinking I like my women feisty."

"That isn't going to help me at all."

She left the room, pondering about his last words.

"Or is it?"

An idea came to her head and she smiled evilly down the hallway.

* * *

Me – Alright, I know what you're thinking. WHERE THE HELL IS THE HUMOR IN THIS? AND WHY THE FUCK DID I TAKE 3 YEARS TO WRITE THIS SHITTY SHORT CHAPTER?

Sasuke – The reasoning behind that is because after her 3 year hiatus, the authoress has lost that'good' sense of humor she had so she is now putting filler plot. And the authoress is just a bad writer.

Me – _glares_ What do you mean filler plot? This is leading on to something cruel in the next chapter. And by cruel, I mean for you. Not for me. AND I AM NOT A BAD WRITER-okay maybe I am but you're still in store for pain!

Sakura – I think I like the way I acted in this chapter. Very professional.

Sasuke – By that, you mean that you used big words?

Sakura – And this is where the authoress should hurry up with that cruel next chapter.

Me – GRAH. As if I needed more threats to write! I shall get on it as soon as possible!

Sakura – By that, you mean NOW.

* * *

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**Review and tell me.  
**

**~Nikkikay**


	12. Blind Date

Thanks for all the reviews! Hopefully this chapter satisfies your anger! . Also, I should have you know that my mother condemns me for being such a lazy ass :P

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, a lot of things would've changed. You should be thankful to god I don't own it.

* * *

Flashback:

"_Oh and Sakura? If you are going to try to get me to be a romantice, here's a clue: I'm thinking I like my women feisty."_

"_That isn't going to help me at all."_

_She left the room, pondering about his last words._

"_Or is it?"_

_An idea came to her head and she smiled evilly down the hallway. _

End of Flashback

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**Blind Date**

**oX-Xo**

* * *

_Later that evening…_

"Sakura. Either you hurry up or you're walking home." Sasuke grunted as he waited in front of the elevator for her.

"Coming already Sasuke! Don't get your panties in a bunch." Sakura said taking off her watch and slipping it into her pocket and got into the elevator.

"I thought you were well-informed that I was a boxer-not-briefs person." Sasuke looked at her.

"Three things, Sasuke. One: it's an expression. Two: I don't care if you prefer boxers over briefs. Three: That's just too much info right there."

"Who knows Sakura. Maybe one day, you'll be wanting to get me a present." He smirked. "And two things Sakura. One: I'm well aware that it's an expression. Two: I prefer thongs to panties if you ever wanted to surprise me."

"I'm glad to see that you're working on your pick up lines, Sasuke."

"I'm not really one for pick up lines, Sakura. I'm more of the do-us-a-favor-and-stop-wasting-my-time type."

"So in plain words, you just fail at using them?"

"No, simply, I have no need for pick up lines."

The elevator stopped on a random floor and started to open.

"I'm sorry but I recall you trying to use them to get me into your arms for the past few days."

"Sakura-chan! WHAT IS THIS I AM HEARING!" Lee got on. "IS UCHIHA-SAMA FORCING YOU TO DO WEIRD THINGS AGAINST YOUR WILL SAKURA-CHAN! THAT IS MOST UNLAWFUL AND SHOULD BE REPORTED IMMEDIATELY! RUN SAKURA! GO WHILE I BATTLE THIS OUT WITH UCHIHA-SAMA. I SHALL STALL TIME. THIS IS UNJUSTFUL. ALTHOUGH YOU ARE MY BOSS UCHIHA-SAMA THIS IS MOST UNETHICAL AND WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED."

Sakura snorted loudly and laughed.

"It's alright, Lee. You interpreted it in a different context." Sakura wiped the tears from her eyes. "We were talking about pick up lines!"

Lee looked at her.

"Are you sure that Uchiha-sama is not doing anything against your will?"

Sakura chuckled lightly. "If I were to say, I'd probably lose my job now wouldn't I, Lee? After all, Sasuke is still standing in the elevator with us."

Sasuke tched.

They reached the lobby and exited the elevator.

"Well if there ever is any reason in which you will be needing protection Sakura-chan, be sure to notify me immediately! I will not hesitate to take Uchiha-sama down! Even at the cost of my job!" Lee said before bowing and leaving the premises.

"Will not go unpunished eh?" Sasuke smirked at Sakura "I wouldn't mind being punished by you, Sa-ku-"

Sakura wacked Sasuke in the gut with her purse. (A/N: Yes, she carries one.)

"How was that for a punishment, you smug asshole?" Sakura sneered.

"Pleasurable. But I was thinking of something different if you know what I mean."

"Sasuke. Professional environment. Now get us the fuck back to your house. I have plans scheduled for you tonight."

Sasuke walked Sakura to his car.

"Plans? What plans?"

"Oh, you'll find out." She smiled sweetly at him. "I'm sure you'll find them very enjoyable."

Sasuke looked suspiciously at her.

"Tch. I don't know what you're up to, but I sure as hell don't want to get involved."

"What?"

"I don't want to get involved with your 'plans'" Sasuke said.

"Those 'plans' are specifically made for you. YOU ARE GOING TO GET INVOLVED AND I WILL NOT HEAR ANOTHER WORD OF THIS FROM YOU BECAUSE I HAVE SPENT MANY PRECIOUS HOURS TODAY TO MAKE THESE PLANS. I HAD TO PULL MANY STRINGS FOR THIS TO HAPPEN. NOW START YOUR PRETTY LITTLE SPORTS CAR AND GET US BACK HOME BEFORE I MAKE YOU GET ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES TO CARRY ME BACK HOME."

"Oh, so you'll be riding me back home if I don't start the car?"

"Yes I will be riding you back hom-" Sakura finally realize the awkward wording of her last comment.

Sasuke smirked.

"I'll be glad to report to your mother that the development of your hormones has been very successful you perverted duck-ass." Sakura glared. "Anyways, you know what I meant so start the damn car already!"

"I'm not so sure, Sakura. That idea sound pretty appealing to me right now"

Sakura kicked him in the balls.

"How's that for appealing?"

Sasuke grabbed his family jewels and keeled over.

"I'll start the car then."

Sasuke did his best but could not open the door.

"You know what? How about I drive? You're pretty useless right now."

Sasuke handed over his car keys. Sakura shoved him into the back seat before getting into the driver's seat.

Along the way home…

"Sakura…make yourself useful later and order me a cup."

"Um…okay? A cup of what?" Sakura peered into the rear-view mirror to check the status of the raven-haired boy.

"You know. By the way, I'm a large size."

Sakura suddenly realized what he meant by 'cup'.

"DO IT YOURSELF YOU IDIOT OR I'M GOING TO BUST ONE OF YOUR PRECIOUS FAMILY JEWELS OPEN. THEN YOU WON'T HAVE A REASON FOR BUYING SUCH A CONTRAPTION."

"Tch." Sasuke finally managed to sit back up-right, his groin still throbbing in pain.

_Back at the Uchiha residence…_

"Go shower, Uchiha." Sakura pointed to the bathroom.

"Hn. Woman, you should know better than telling me what to do." Sasuke trudged up the stairs.

"Sasuke. Shower. Then change into the clothes on your bed that I'll prepare later" Sakura stated stubbornly. "Now go."

"Sakura's going to make get me into a sexy outfit?" Sasuke taunted.

"Yes, Sasuke. I am going to get you into a sexy outfit." Sakura grinned at him.

Sasuke was shocked but he obviously didn't show it. He headed off to the bathroom in his bedroom.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Sakura made a phone call to Mikoto (She and Fugaku had returned back to their home in some remote neighborhood of Konoha.)

"_Hello?"_

"Mikoto-sama! Good evening! This is Sakura, Sasuke-sama's personal secretary!"

"_Ah! Of course Sakura-chan! What news do you have for me, seeing that you personally called me this time?"_

"Hehe, I would just like to report that Sasuke's been making progress….if you call it that."

"_Why the hesitance, Sakura-chan?"_

"Well, Sasuke's been pretty defiant against being a romantice as you wished him to be but he has become more open to women as well as methods to woo women."

"_Well that's progress to my ears! Could you give me some details, Sakura-chan?"_

"Ano…he's been attempting to learn to use pick-up lines and very weird sexual innuendos."

"_That's wonderful progress! When did this all start?" Mikoto giggled glee-fully._

"This morning, hehe…" Sakura's voice was unsteady.

"_Well that's still wonderful progress! It seems that we gave this assignment to you but a month ago and you've already got my little Sasu-chan into girls!"_

"To be honest, Mikoto-sama, Sasuke actually has a little date tonight."

"_You don't say? Well who's the girl he's going to have dinner with tonight?"_

"That would be my long-distant cousin, Mikoto-chan! She went to school in the next city over but she's most likely Sasuke's type! In fact, he told me today that he liked feisty women and that immediately brought me to the thought of her!"

"_I cannot say this enough! That sounds like wonderful news! You do not know how much joy this brings me!"_

"I'm glad that you're happy about this Mikoto-sama! But I must be going now. I have to prepare dinner for the two. I shall update you from time to time about this!"

"_Yes! Please do so! I look forward to hearing from you soon Sakura-chan!"_

"Of course Mikoto-sama! I will talk to you soon! Good bye!"

"_Good bye Sakura! Oooh, I can't wait to tell Fugaku about this!" _Mikoto grew ever more happy and the line went dead.

Sakura sighed in relief that the raven-haired boy's mother did not condemn her for the disturbing-to-Sakura's-ears news.

"And now off to make dinner…but first, I need that boy to be dressed properly for this occasion!" Sakura thought to herself. "Nah, I'll make dinner first. That's faster anyways."

A short while later…

"Itachi!~" Sakura sang sweetly out loud "I need your help dressing your brother for a date tonight!"

And then the weasel popped out of nowhere.

"Yes? I heard you call my name. Of course I shall help my brother with his date! But allow to ask first, exactly who is his date tonight and will I be fed?"

"You will NOT be fed and Sasuke's date will be arriving quite shortly so you can meet her then. Now hurry up! I need to make Sasuke looked mildly-decent before she's here!"  
Itachi was disappointed but nevertheless followed Sakura up into Sasuke's room to raid his closet.

A while later…

"There! That should do it!"

"I still say he should wear the polka-dot tie." Itachi said

"It would clash with the dark purple dress shirt though!" Sakura insisted "Plus the red dragon on the black tie screams 'desperate to look badass for the ladies'"

"You've got a point there."

"Personally I think this tie looks badass so we'll go with it. If I say it, it happens!" Sakura said.

Sasuke just sat there on the bed in his robe, awaiting for Sakura and Itachi to finally agree on what attire he shall be adorning that night.

"Are you two done yet?"

Sakura glared as Sasuke.

"Almost, Uchiha." Sakura frowned at him "I thought you didn't wear panties seeing how they're in a bunch right now!"

"I don't" Sasuke flung open his robe "That proof enough for you?"

Sakura looked away from the half-nude-only-in-boxers Sasuke.

"That wasn't called for."

"You were asking to know, Sakura." Sasuke yawned in boredom "I never agreed to this date thing anyways."

"It doesn't matter! She's coming over right now; I've already prepared dinner – YOU ARE GOING TO THIS DINNER WHETHER YOU NEED TO BE KNOCKED OUT OR KILLED."

"Sheesh. Someone is still pms-ing I see."

"SHUT UP SASUKE OR I WILL BREAK YOUR FAMILY JEWELS."

"You going to do that by tryna have kids with me Sakura?" Sasuke smirked.

"You wish." Sakura squinted her eyes shut in stress. "Now put this stuff on."

"Tell me who my 'date' is first."

"You know her, don't worry."

"I'd like to know exactly how I'm going to break her heart Sakura."

"She's not the least bit interested in you but she agreed to do this as a favor for me."

"Then why would she agree to this?"

"I JUST TOLD YOU WHY! NOW GET DRESSED!"

The doorbell rang. Itachi went downstairs to get it.

"Hurry the fuck up! She's here already!"

"Just tell me who she is already dammit! Then I'll get dressed."

"You'll find out as soon as you put these clothes on dammit!"

"Sasuke! Sakura! Our guest has arrived!" Itachi called from downstairs

Sasuke started to walk out in just his robe and boxers to see who his blind-date was.

"Dammit Uchiha! PUT ON YOU CLOTHES! HAVE SOME DECENTCY TO GREET A LADY FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

Sasuke walked down the stairs to greet his guest. Sakura followed him, his garments in her hands, dropping them every other step.

Sasuke reached the bottom of the stairs and gave the lady a smug look.

"Who are you?"

The guest calmly cleared her throat.

"My name is Temari Sabaku. I'm your blind date tonight, Uchiha-teme."

* * *

Me – WOOHOO! ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE! DO YOU LOVE ME OR WHAT! :D

Sasuke – You set me up with Temari? Really?

Me – It's all for the fucking plot Uchiha-teme!

Sakura – I'm liking this so far! TEMARI! KICK HIS ASS!

Temari – Oh you bet I will school this loser.

* * *

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**Review and tell me.**

**~Nikkikay**


	13. Unexpected Change in Plans

Thanks for all the reviews! Currently, I'll attempting to update once every week until the end of summer. I'll probably fail but yay! More chapters are on the way!

Disclaimer: Any accusation of my owning of Naruto will result in you being deprived of more chapters of this story. And obviously, you're reading it because you like it or you've nothing better to do with your time.

* * *

Flashback:

_Sasuke reached the bottom of the stairs and gave the lady a smug look._

"_Who are you?"_

_The guest calmly cleared her throat._

"_My name is Temari Sabaku. I'm your blind date tonight, Uchiha-teme."_

End of Flashback

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**Unexpected Change in Plans**

**oX-Xo**

* * *

"Wait, your name is what again?"

"What? Is there sand plugging up your ears? Is that why you didn't hear the first time?" Temari crossed her legs as she sat on the couch in the living room.

"Just repeat your name to me, woman."

"Like I said, my name is Temari Sabaku." She glared at him "I will not repeat myself again."

"So Sakura set me up on a blind date with the wife of the head of Sabaku Corporation." He turned to look at Sakura. "Idiot woman."

Temari just smirked.

"No, actually. I am the half-sister of Gaara-kun. We come from different mothers, hence the reasoning behind our different hair colors. I don't bleach my hair and Gaara has never dyed his. It's all natural. Just like Sakura's pink hair."

"Ahh." Sasuke glared.

"No, I did not just read your mind. You're just that predictable, Uchiha."

"Bitch." Sasuke said glaring even harder.

"It's nice to see that you're not a monotone as Sakura had declared you were a long while back."

"Hn."

"Then again, maybe you are." Temari shifted her weight "I suggest you get dressed Uchiha. I'm not going to spend dinner with a half-naked egoist."

"This is my house. Meaning my rules. I'll spend dinner like this. It's not like I have much of a choice." Sasuke scanned the area. His eyes met with Akatsuki members at every exit.

Sakura was irritated.

"YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE. JUST PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON."

"I meant about this dinner thing."

"Well, actually you had choices. I was going to let you pick but you'd probably reject them all so I didn't give you any."

"Tch. Women."

"Tch. Men." Sakura mimicked "Put some damn clothes on for the pretty lady!"

She threw the remainder of his garments (that she didn't drop along the way downstairs) onto the other couch across from where Temari was sitting.

Sasuke just tied his robe back around him.

"You're too sweet Sakura" Temari got up to hug her.

"You're too kind to accept such an unfortunate deed." Sakura said.

"Come now! It's not like I could be partying with Ino and the others since I made an effort to drive all the way out here from Suna or anything."

"Ehehehehe. Sorry bout that, I'll make it up to you somehow."

"Better. We're going to a bar next weekend and you're coming with. Or else I'm going to kill the bastard." Temari threw a look at Sasuke.

"Ehehehe. I'd like that ANYWAYS, come now! I made dinner!"

"Sakura cooked! Yes!" Temari fist-pumped. "I haven't eaten your cooking since college!"

"You mean you're excited to eat her poison?" Sasuke hunched an eye brow.

"You're a jackass, y'know Uchiha?" Temari said as she was pulled into the dining room. "Now get your lazy ass in here so I can hurry this date up and leave."

Sakura pulled out a chair for Temari at the dining table and pulled out the first dish from the kitchen on a portable wheely tray thingy that rich people are stereotyped to have.

In that time, Sasuke still had not shown.

"Just wait a moment, I'll go get that ass" Sakura told Temari.

"Take your time. I'll just enjoy this entire bottle of wine you set out"

"…I didn't set out a bottle of wine for you. I know how you get when you've got alcohol in your system."

"Oh…but I'm still enjoying this."

"Temari. The last time you got drunk at someone's house, you held up their cat and started sing the Lion King theme in slurs."

"…I'm still going to drink this."

"…Fine. I'm going to get that bastard. Do you have a ride home?"

"Did I have a ride here?"

"…I'm totally going to regret allowing you to drink today, aren't I?"

"Meh. I'm a grown woman, I can handle myself."

"If you say so…"

Sakura entered the living room and found that Sasuke wasn't there. She looked at Hidan lazily guarding the front door. All he did was point upstairs. Sakura stomped up the stairs in a fury.

"That ungrateful, disrespecting piece of tard! I'll teach him how to treat her like a lady." She thought out loud.

"I can hear you Sakura." Sasuke appeared at the top of the staircase.

"If you can hear me, then why the HELL aren't you down there with Temari yet?"

"I don't want to do this." Sasuke looked at her, daring her to question his authority.

"Your parent's orders come before yours Sasuke." Sakura started to drag him down the stairs.

"Hmph." Sasuke didn't want to hear this lecture again so he complied…somewhat.

"Stop throwing your weight around duck-butt!"

Sasuke didn't even try to do what Sakura wanted him to.

"DAMMIT PICK UP YOUR DAMN WEIGHT SASUKE! YOU'RE HEAVY!"

Sasuke didn't budge, he kept on leaning on Sakura to annoy her even further.

Sakura abruptly tried to turn around to punch Sasuke but slipped on the dress shirt she had dropped on the previous way down the stairs.

She waited for the impact of wooden stairs against her body. Instead, she received the painful sensation of her wrist being held tightly to keep her from falling and breaking her skull, courtesy of Sasuke.

"Idiotic woman."

"Do you only say more than a few words when you're around familiar people or what?"

"No…" He pulled Sakura back to her feet and leaned in close to her. "I just talk more around you, Miss Sa-ku-ra. After all, I plan to make you my wife."

Sakura punched in the gut.

"OH FUCK. NOW I NEED TO BOIL MY HAND." Sakura was very agitated at this point.

Sasuke keeled over and landed on Sakura who slowly lost her balance. They fell forwards and started to tumble down the stairs.

"God fuck it that was painful!" Sakura swore.

Sasuke glared at her from underneath.

"Painful? Exactly who was the one who took most of the damage? You or me!"

Sakura took a few moments to examine the situation she was in. Of course the gentleman was underneath. That's just how these cliché scenes always end. Most of the time.

Sakura slowly rolled off of Sasuke and got up to her feet. She did a few stretches and extended her hand to Sasuke.

Sasuke grunted "I see you're developing feelings for me again, Sakura. Helping me up is a task derived from emotions is it not?"

"Yes, it's called feeling sorry for your ass."

"Guilt, is it not? I have some suggestions for you to make it up to me later." Sasuke smirked taking her hand

"And what would that be?" Sakura used as much of her strength as she could to pull that man up.

Sasuke smirked even more.

"You could give me a full-body rub on the aches and bruises later on"

Sakura twitched but restrained herself from beating him again.

"Shut up and just come." She dragged him by his hand to follow her into the dining room and pushed him into his chair.

"Now that we're all here…" Sakura grabbed the shockingly-still-warm first dish and placed it on the table "We can commence with the dinner portion of this date!"

"Wait, there are more portions?" Temari asked, shockingly-still-not-too-drunk-after-half-a-bottle-of-wine.

"Yes. There are more portions to this date! I spent my entire lunch period fussing over this idea and I have planned out this to go quite swell until Uchiha-teme decided to be Miss. Nitpicky about everything." Sakura glared at him as he calmly played with his food. "NOW EAT AND CHAT NICELY. I'm going to check on the other dishes to make sure no one has eaten anything."

With that, she left the two spiky haired adults alone.

"So…I've been hearing some rumors from my brother that you're tryna lose your bachelor status…" Temari said chewing on her food. (A/N: Exactly how the hell do you put dialogue into an eating scene. The rule of not speaking with your mouth full does not apply here I suppose.)

"Not exactly. My parents want me married seeing how my brother is not going to be doing so any time soon."

"Ahh, I see."

"Tell me, exactly how did Sabaku-san find out about this?"

"Oh, Gaara-kun? He and I heard it from Kankuro who works for security at your place."

"Wait, he's your sibling as well?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. He is my sibling. Kankuro and I share the same parents."

"Ah. So exactly how is Gaara and Sakura related?"

"Well long story short, his—"

"Alright, second dish is out!" Sakura collected the plates from the first dish and set down the second course of the meal. "Are you two getting along?"

"Like neighbors, Sakura-chan" Temari smiled at her.

"That's good to know. Maybe you can teach this idiot some manners, like being FULLY DRESSED WHILE WITH A GUEST." Sakura konked him on the head and left for the kitchen once more.

"Tch, that's one angry woman." Sasuke rubbed his head

"I heard you like 'em feisty though."

"By them, I mean her."

"I thought you didn't like her though"

"I've grown fond of her over the past years she's been my personal secretary."

"So I've heard. So do you really plan on making her yours? And by that, I mean are you willing to risk you ability to conceive when she finally caves in and agrees to marry you?"

"Not too sure about that right now. I'd like to keep my options a bit more open at this time"

"Well, I suggest you make your move soon. I know a few others who've had their eyes set on Sakura for a while now."

"And exactly who is there to challenge me?"

"That, Uchiha-teme, is confidential information."

"So exactly why are you telling me this then?"

"I'd like to see little Saku-chan settle down soon. She's the family type."

"Ahh. I dislike children."

"You seem the type to."

Sakura returned to collect the plates from the second dish and to set down the final course of the meal. She left quickly as not to disturb the atmosphere.

"You still haven't told me how Gaara and Sakura were related."

"It's not exactly a pretty story."

"You were trying to shorten everything the first time you attempted to tell me."

"Now that I think about it, I think it's best if she or he tell you themselves. It's not exactly my place to do something like that you know what I mean?" Temari sipped her wine. "Sakura would slit my throat if I didn't ask her first. And she's probably dance on your ashes as well."

"It's not like I'm going to tell anybody or anything."

"It's fucking personal Teme. I'm not saying anything."

Sakura appeared behind Sasuke, glaring daggers at the back of his head.

"U-chi-ha. ARE YOU SEXUALLY HARASSING TEMARI?" Sakura's fury encased the 'date' atmosphere into a tiny little ball. "Temari is NOT that kind of woman so there's no damn need for you to know her three measurements!"

Temari only grinned.

"Relax, Saku-chan! He wasn't doing anything of that sort. Although he does seem the type to."

"He is a rapist at night Temari. You are so fortunate to not have to suffer what I go through every damn night with this person."

Sakura took back the dishes and proceeded to escort Temari and Sasuke to the garden.

"Actually Sakura, it's getting pretty late and it's a while drive back home. I should be leaving soon"

"Temari, you really know how to pick a time to leave dontcha?" Sakura twitched. Nothing was going according to her delicately made out plan.

"Hehe, I guess. But really, I should go now."

"I'll escort you to the door" Sasuke piped up.

Sakura looked at him, jaw gaped wide open.

"OH MY DEAR LORD. SASUKE HAS DEVELOPED MANNERS. I KNEW THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!" She started doing her little victory dance.

"Tch. I was raised with good manners."

"You never had a chance to use them so they withered out and died in the desert of your love life."

"The desert can actually be a very romantic place, Sakura-chan. I should know. Suna is a desert only made inhabitable thanks to improved technology and water pipes." Temari said as she was escorted to the door by Sasuke, leaving Sakura to clean the dishes.

In the living room…

Hidan had left his post after seeing that Sasuke and follow Sakura into the dining room and so the front door was approachable.

"Thanks for the info." Sasuke said as Temari got back into her car.

"The Uchiha-teme can be grateful. Dear lord, I have been blessed!" Temari said sarcastically as she drove off.

"Tch." Sasuke closed the door and because for some reason there was a gust of wind, the door slammed.

"SASUKE. DID YOU JUST SLAM THE DOOR IN A LADY'S FACE? AFTER SHE GRACIOUSLY HAD DINNER WITH A LOW-LIFE LIKE YOU!" Sakura appeared in the living room, angry as a bull.

"Woman, you are NOT my mother."

* * *

Me – WHOOPIE! ANOTHER ONE DONE!

Sasuke – You're too cliché in this one. And there wasn't much torture in it.

Me – You were hit multiple times. Are you a masochist?

Sasuke – That's personal information.

Sakura – You damn hypocrite.

* * *

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**Review and tell me.**

**~Nikkikay**


	14. Oh, The Nostalgia

Thanks for all the reviews. Seriously guys, feed my inbox *_* I like reading your reactions to this! It motivates me to write! To a certain extent. And then the rest is to write the story for the sake of creativity and plot. But once again, thank you for your wonderful support. Especially after 3 damn years of waiting. It's nice to see people are glad that I'm still alive.

Disclaimer: I do this every chapter. You get the point.

Warning: There is a controversial topic in this chapter. Don't start bitching about it. I will send twitchy glares at you through my computer.

* * *

Flashback:

"_Tch." Sasuke closed the door and because for some reason there was a gust of wind, the door slammed. _

"_SASUKE. DID YOU JUST SLAM THE DOOR IN A LADY'S FACE? AFTER SHE GRACIOUSLY HAD DINNER WITH A LOW-LIFE LIKE YOU!" Sakura appeared in the living room, angry as a bull._

"_Woman, you are NOT my mother." _

End of Flashback

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**Oh, The Nostalgia**

**oX-Xo**

* * *

At the office the next day…

"You look really tired today, Sakura-chan" Naruto squatted down next to Sakura as she took her lunch break.

"You wouldn't believe the hell I went through last night with that date with Sasuke, Naruto. I'm sore all over!" Sakura stretched her arms in front of her. "My wrists hurts a lot from Sasuke pulling and holding them down too."

Naruto's pupils shrunk.

Sakura was tired after what appeared to be a long night.

Her explanation mentioned Sasuke and a date.

Sakura was fucking SORE ALL OVER.

Her wrists hurt.

**SHE WAS SORE ALL OVER.**

"TEME!" Naruto charged into Sasuke's office and shouted very loudly. "YOU DID THE UNFORGIVABLE THING OF TAKING SAKURA'S INNOCENCE. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! I WILL TEAR OFF YOUR BALLS AND FEED THEM TO SHARKS. YOUR MOTHER WILL HAVE TO RELY ON YOUR BROTHER FOR GRANDCHILDREN!" Naruto rolled up his sleeves as a crowd started to gather.

Sakura did a spit take in the lounge room, for Naruto was loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Hn? What are you talking about you idiot?" Sasuke didn't bother to look up from his laptop screen.

"YOU TOOK SAKURA'S INNOCENCE LAST NIGHT WHILE SHE WAS UNABLE TO FEND FOR HERSELF." Naruto glared hard, although Sasuke was his best friend, violating his other best friend in such a way was unforgivable. "YOU ARE A DEAD MAN."

Sasuke chucked a large file at Naruto's head. Naruto fell backwards at the force and weight of the pieces of paper and staples in the file.

Sakura punched Naruto in the face.

"HE DID NO SUCH THING. I AM STILL VERY MUCH PURE AND UNCONTAMINATED BY THAT MAN." She slammed the door to get some privacy between the three of them.

"Oh, so you're a virgin then Saku-chan" Sasuke smirked. "No wonder you're such a prude."

Sakura smirked back. "That's classified information but in this case, I'm willing to tell you. As a matter of fact, I am not a virgin."

Sasuke and Naruto were shocked to hear that their childhood friend, one in which they've known since grade school, was not a virgin.

"I've probably been laid more times than both of you combined." Sakura said.

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged glances.

"So…who was your first time?" Naruto asked.

"I'm not going to say. That's personal information in a professional environment."

"You're on personal time right now though." Sasuke pointed out, curious to know who had the fucking nerve to take Sakura's, of all people's, innocence.

"…you've got a point there." Sakura pondered. "Alright then, we'll do a little exchange. Naruto, come over to Sasuke's place tonight and let's have a sleepover like how we did back in grade school!"

"But Sakura-chan! I need to spend more time with Hinata-chan with the big day approaching!"

"Hinata won't mind, she knows already. It's not like Sasuke and I are going to eat you alive or anything."

"…I'll just ask her then."

"I'm sorry but Hinata-chan's on oath. We all are."

"Nnneehhhh….." Naruto was stuck between revealing his embarrassing secret and his hard curiosity of who Sakura lost her innocence to. Even if she lost it a long while ago, it didn't matter to Naruto. If he was able to get a name, someone was going to end up hospitalized for doing such a deed to his dear friend.

"What dobe? Are you scared to tell us that you're a virgin?" Sasuke said.

Naruto blushed wildly. "ALRIGHT LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS LATER! I'LL SEE YOU AT SEVEN."

Naruto sprinted out there.

"Sasuke, that was pretty mean of you. I mean, you already knew he was saving himself for Hinata after their marriage."

"Tch. I don't have to be nice. I was intentionally trying to hurt his pride."

"Oh, so you look up to him for only being with one woman his entire life? You're jealous of how committed he is."

"I didn't say that."

"Suit yourself."

"Get back to work Haruno."

"Of course, Uchiha-sama."

* * *

Later that evening…

* * *

**Ding dong. Ding dong. DING DONG. DING DONG. DING DONG.**

Naruto kept pressing the doorbell as Sasuke glared him down at the front door.

"Dobe. Tell me why you are ringing the doorbell when you know where the spare key is hidden?"

"I AM A GUEST TODAY AND SHALL BE TREATED LIKE SO!" Naruto shouted. "NOW FETCH ME A PAIL OF WATER TEME!"

Sasuke grabbed a hose and sprayed Naruto down.

"You're welcome."

Sasuke shut the door on Naruto.

"Neee! SAKURA-CHAN! SASUKE-TEME IS BEING A CHICKEN ASS TO ME AGAIN!" Naruto cried out loud, soaked as can be. "BE THANKFUL I BROUGHT A CHANGE OF CLOTHES!"

Inside…

Sasuke looked at Sakura who had been preparing 3 futons in the living room in a _ | _ shape, only angled nicer because this computer refuses to let me have nicely angled futon arrangements at 120 degrees each. GOSH DARN THIS COMPUTER EVEN THOUGH I LOVE MY LAPTOP.

"You invited him here. This is your problem." Sasuke walked upstairs.

"Just change into something more comfortable than a suit Uchiha." Sakura said.

"Why bother? By the time that idiot's asleep, you'll be taking this suit off of me yourself." Sasuke smirked.

"I may be your personal secretary and personal maid but changing your underwear was NOT a part of my job description. I've read the fine print. NOT A PART OF MY JOB DESCRIPTION."

Outside…

"SAKURA-CHAN! IT'S GETTING COLD!" Naruto rung the doorbell even more furiously now.

Inside….

"Hn. Seems like I need it to be revised now…Sakura, go revise the document that holds your job description and add in "Change my underwear" in the fine print."

"I WILL MOST CERTAINLY NOT DO THAT!" She threw a photo frame at him. "AND NARUTO! OPEN THE DOOR YOURSELF. YOU KNOW WHERE THE KEY IS!"

Outside…

Naruto's defeated face - TT_TT

Yes. That is his sad face. It is quite unfortunate of him to be expressing such a sad facial expression as his sad and defeated face while he is sad.

Moving on now.

Naruto dug the spare key out from the dirt behind some bushes and let himself in.

"Sakura-chan….Teme got me all wet and now my underwear is sticking to my butt and it's uncomfortable!"

"Naruto. Go shower and change." Sakura said. "Use Sasuke's shower. I don't want you doing anything in the shower in my room."

Naruto sulked.

"Hai, Sakura-chan." He trudged upstairs.

"AND TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES." Sakura threw another photo frame at Naruto.

"ITA!" Naruto wept as he kicked his shoes off and continued his way upstairs.

"Now…what should I make for dinner? It's been ages since the three of us have had a sleepover. Since elementary school. I should make something nice….cup ramen it is!" Sakura headed off into the kitchen to boil water.

Upstairs…

Naruto stepped into the steamy shower and announced "Teme, Sakura told me to shower here. Scoot over."

"Hn? Exactly why could you have not waited until I got out to come in?"

"Why are you being so nitpicky? We used to do this all the time in high school after sports." Naruto shrugged standing next to the Uchiha and turning on another shower head. (A/N: There are multiple ones in Sasuke's LARGE shower.)

"That was because we had no other choice. Now GET OUT." Sasuke shoved Naruto out of his shower to wait until he was done.

And so, Naruto stood there still wet, with only a towel around his torso.

He stood for 15 minutes.

Sasuke finally came out.

"TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TEME! IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE HOT STEAM, I WOULD'VE DIED FROM CATCHING A COLD OR SOMETHING." Naruto rushed into the shower, only to slip on the wet floor and into Sasuke.

What is this scene.

Why did the authoress have to have Naruto and Sasuke liplocking right now.

Oh. Because she's evil, that's why.

"TEME!" Naruto punched Sasuke.

"DAMMIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!" Sasuke punched him back.

"THIS IS JUST LIKE BACK IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WHEN YOU BLACKMAILED THAT KID TO PUSH ME FROM MY SQUATTING POSITION AND FALL ONTO YOU. YOU NEVER CHANGE." Naruto punched him again.

Sasuke punched him back once again.

"I DID NO SUCH THING. YOU WERE JUST TOO FUCKING STUPID TO KEEP YOUR DAMN BALANCE."

And so they fought. They fought like they did in the schoolyard in elementary school. They fought like how they did in gym class in middle school. They fought like how they did in the back of alleyways and restaurants when they were in high school. They fought. And like always, Sakura had to intervene.

"YOU DUMBASSES. I CAN'T EVEN BOIL WATER IN PEACE?" Sakura punched them both. "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES AND GET DRESSED. WE DID NOT PLAN THIS SLEEPOVER TO FIGHT. WE PLANNED THIS SLEEPOVER TO REMINISCE OVER THE YEARS THAT I COULDN'T REALLY SPEND WITH YOU."

Sasuke and Naruto glared at each other, both sitting cross-legged on the floro, witch towels over their crotches. Sakura inwardly smiled, it felt like old times again.

"I still haven't showered yet Sakura-chan." Naruto muttered, his eyes focused on glaring at Sasuke.

"Go shower then. Uchiha, get dressed. I want to see more garments on you than just a towel."

Sakura took her leave.

Sasuke and Naruto did not budge.

"I DON'T HEAR ANY WATER RUNNING. DON'T MAKE ME GET THE WOODEN SPOON."

Naruto and Sasuke still didn't move.

Sakura brought up the wooden spoon and wacked their palms just as their mothers used to do when they fought.

Yes, this was just like old times.

* * *

A while later…

"Sakura-chan. My hand hurts….I can't hold my chopsticks…." Naruto whined as the sweet aroma of ramen taunted him.

"Use a fork then. I'm not going to feed you." Sakura vein-popped. "You both got what you deserved. Now suck it up and eat your food. Otherwise, go hungry. I'm not going to babysit you two like I used to."

"Tch. You only need to babysit that idiot." Sasuke slurped his noodles.

"You just shut up and eat. You'll just choke on your food if you talk with your mouth full." Sakura said sternly.

"Hn." Sasuke obeyed as he saw that the wooden spoon was still within Sakura's reach.

"So Sakura-chan, going back to today's conversation earlier, Sasuke-teme didn't violate you right?"

"Nope, he was just a fat ass last night and couldn't hold his own weight so we fell down the stairs. Nothing too serious but it did hurt my body a lot."

Naruto glared at Sasuke and pointed his chopsticks at him. "YOU BE MORE CAREFUL. YOU HURT SAKURA-CHAN TEME. DISHONOR! DISHONOR TO YOU. DISHONOR TO YOUR COW. DISHONOR TO YOUR WHOLE FAMILY." (A/N: I felt it was appropriate to put this here for laughs.)

"Tch. She was just too focused on admiring my good looks and tripped, pulling me along with her."

"Liars get wacked with the wooden spoon." Sakura glared.

Sasuke stayed silent.

Naruto looked at the two. "Well, anyways, who was your first time Sakura?"

"Who was yours?" Sakura stated.

"Erm…I'm going to get more ramen!" Naruto tried to get up when Sakura wacked him with the spoon.

"Naruto, we agreed to tell each other everything that we didn't know about each other."

"BUT SAKURA! MAKE TEME GO FIRST!" Naruto whined. "You both already know I'm saving myself for the honeymoon!"

"Dobe. You just told us." Sasuke said.

"What? NOOOOOOO!" Naruto blushed. In their extended friend circle, only a few people were still virgins so it was quite embarrassing for Naruto to reveal his secret.

"Naruto, calm down. I think it's sweet that you're doing something like that. You're really committing to Hinata." Sakura smiled.

Naruto blushed. "Well anyways! Who was your first time teme!"

"That's classified information dobe. And am I the only one who feels that it's stupid that we're doing something we should've done when we were 16, while we're in our mid-20's?" Sasuke said.

"It's not stupid. It's bonding. And tell us already Uchiha. Who was your first time? Or are you still a virgin?" Sakura taunted.

Sasuke was silent.

Naruto and Sakura stared at him intently.

"It's the latter." Sasuke looked away.

Jaws had dropped.

"Are you shitting me?" Naruto asked. "You're shitting me right?"

"Are you serious Sasuke? The great Sasuke Uchiha has never been laid?" Sakura asked.

"Why would I lie about this? It's not like I'm waiting for a certain pink-haired Haruno to realize that I'm not as bad of a guy as she thinks I am." Sasuke looked at Sakura.

"Tch. As if." Sakura said.

In her mind, two thoughts ran: Can a guy who's never been laid be a playboy? And I have been laid more times than the both of them combined!

"So Sakura, now that that cat's out of the bag, who was your first time. Seeing how you're the only one here who's actually had a first time." Sasuke inquired.

"You want the long story or the short story?" Sakura asked.

"Short story, then long" Sasuke and Naruto both said still slurping ramen.

"Alright then." Sakura said and took a small breath to prepare for the spit takes about to occur. "My first time was with Gaara. BUT IT WAS BEFORE OUR LONG DISTANT RELATIVES DECIDED TO GET MARRIED. WAY, WAY BEFORE."

"Wha-" Sasuke and Naruto both choked on their ramen.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL." Sakura frowned.

* * *

Me – Muahahahhaahhahahahaha I am so awesome, look at that wondrous scene! DON'T YOU JUST LOVE FAN SERVICE! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Sasuke – You should've made Sakura blush or something seeing my awesome bod.

Sakura – There's not much to see.

Naruto – WHY'D YOU MAKE ME GO THROUGH THAT KIND OF HELL AGAIN! WHY!

Me – Oh hush. Hinata will understand that it was an accident.

Naruto – IT WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT WAS ON PURPOSE.

Me – Oh so you intentionally kissed the duck ass?

Naruto – IT'S ALL THAT TEME'S FAULT. HUAIWEFHJKSELHFUWIE;KJFLSD.

Me – Complainers get wacked with the wooden spoon.

Naruto - *silent*

* * *

**Love it?**

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**Review and Tell me.**

**~Nikkikay**


	15. You've Got To Be Kidding Me

Thanks for all the reviews! And yes, I've finally hit 300 of them 33333333333 YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME. *does happy dance* Enjoy this chapter! :D It's a shame school is starting in about a week . I'll try to write another chapter by then before I'm over loaded with homework .

Disclaimer: I love Gaara. 3

Warning: A continuation of the controversial topic. I stand by my threat.

* * *

Flashback:

"_Alright then." Sakura said and took a small breath to prepare for the spit takes about to occur. "My first time was with Gaara. BUT IT WAS BEFORE OUR LONG DISTANT RELATIVES DECIDED TO GET MARRIED. WAY, WAY BEFORE."_

"_Wha-" Sasuke and Naruto both choked on their ramen._

"_I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL." Sakura frowned. _

End of flashback

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**You've got to be kidding me.**

**oX-Xo**

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke both stared at Sakura and frowned disapprovingly.

"Don't give me that look! I was in my early 20's! I was not on of those teenagers who did it cuz it was cool at the time!"

Sasuke felt very irritated.

"You did it. With Gaara. Who you're related to." Naruto started trembling in shock.

"DID I NOT JUST SAY THAT WE DID IT BEFORE OUR LONG DISTANT RELATIVES DECIDED TO GET MARRIED?" Sakura hit him with the wooden spoon.

"ITA! SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto sobbed. "Why did you have to go and do that!"

"Because you were asking for it-" Sakura shouted.

"NOW I CAN'T GO AND BEAT GAARA UP BECAUSE WE WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS IN COLLEGE DURING SPORT EVENTS."

"We dated while we were in college." Sakura looked at Sasuke who had been silent for a bit too long. "That's how I got to know Temari and Kankuro."

"Tch." Sasuke had his mind filled with thoughts of revenge against Gaara, totally forgetting the fact that he was partnering up Uchiha Enterprise with Sabaku Corporations.

"Don't be jealous Sasuke." Naruto nudged him in the ribs.

"Naruto…" Sakura vein-popped. "We broke it off long ago. And he has a family already. There's nothing to be jealous of so quit it."

" 'Cept the fact that my foolish little brother wants to get in your pants but your cherry has been popped." Itachi nonchalantly walked from the bottom of the stairs to the basement.

Awkward turtle.

"Well, anyways, why'd you break it off? He sucked in bed didn't he?" Sasuke sneered.

"Actually, he was a _very_ passionate lover Sasuke. We both agreed that we valued our relatives' happiness more than our own. We're still very good friends though." Sakura stated.

"But your phone records haven't shown Gaara's number once in the past 6 months." Naruto said.

"You've been spying on me?" Sakura twitched.

"No. You left your Verizon account open on my laptop that last time you came to visit me at home." Naruto stated lying down.

"…and exactly why didn't you just sign me out!" Sakura took out the wooden spoon again.

"I don't have Verizon! I don't know how it works!" Naruto covered his face and neck.

"Dobe." Sasuke stated.

"Anything else you guys would know?" Sakura asked.

"…..did you like sleeping with him?" Sasuke asked timidly but didn't show it because his pride wouldn't let him because it's friggin bigger than pride rock.

Sakura's face straightened.

"He was my boyfriend, Sasuke. I did love him. And he loved me too. So yes, I did enjoy sleeping with him. He made a very nice body pillow and cuddling wasn't too bad either."

Sasuke made a mental note: Sakura enjoys body pillows.

"Enough about me. Naruto!" Sakura spoke loudly because Naruto was pretty much asleep.

He bolted right up in fear of being hit by the spoon again.

"Hai Sakura-chan!" Naruto saluted her.

Sakura raised her eyebrow at that but nonetheless continued her train of thought.

"Where are you and Hinata thinking of spending the honeymoon?"

"Ehhh. We were planning on going to the Waterfall country but lately, we've been wanting to go overseas."

"Where overseas?" Sakura asked.

"We have no idea." Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Dobe. You're going to wind up killing Hinata. Neji will have an iron maiden waiting back at the Hyuga compound reserved for you."

"Eh hehe…I don't want to talk about this anymore. Good night guys! See you in the morning!" Naruto flopping under his futon and began snoring.

Sasuke looked at Sakura.

"Anything you wanna know about me?" He smirked.

"Not in the slightest." Sakura stated

"Suit yourself Sakura-chan." He smirked. "You do know that we don't have to stay down here and sleep on the futons right?"

"You really think I'd sleep on the floor when there's a perfectly comfy bed upstairs?" Sakura said. "I'm sleeping in my bed tonight! Tch. Naruto can sleep on the floor all he wants!"

The corner of Sasuke's lip curled up.

"I knew there was a reason why we're friends."

And of course what he thought in his mind was "I knew there was a reason I made you my prey."

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Since when did you consider me your friend?"

"Let's go to bed, Pinky." Sasuke got up and threw Sakura over his shoulder and went up to her room.

"Sasuke. Put me down. I have legs to walk with."

"You won't have any strength left to walk once I'm done with you." Sasuke smirked.

"EXCUSE ME! THAT SOUNDED LIKE A THREAT OF SEXUAL ASSULTMENT TO ME!"

"It's not a threat. It's a promise." His plan for revenge on Sakura was being commenced.

He threw her onto the bed and then straddled her, pinning her arms above her head.

"Sasuke! I'm serious here! This is rape!" Sakura started to fear for the worst. The stoic expression on Sasuke's face meant he was being serious.

"It's not rape if you consent to it. In fact, it's not rape at all right now." Sasuke stated holding her arms down with one hand.

'SASUKE! DON'T MAKE ME RIP YOUR COCK OFF."

"Calm down, woman. You'll enjoy this." Sasuke took off his shirt (one-handed) and slipped down to his boxers.

"SASUKE. I'M SERIOUS HERE."

"So am I."

Sasuke ignored her pleas and wrapped his free arm around her waist tightly before letting go of Sakura's hand to flump them both onto their sides. Quickly, he wrapped his other arms around her as well.

"I can make a pretty good body pillow too, y'know." Sasuke stated.

Sakura was on the verge of tears before realizing what Sasuke had just said.

"YOU SON OF FLYING MONKEY." Sakura beat her fists into his chest. (She was facing him.)

"You really think I'd be as low as doing something like that to you? That's fucked up right there Sakura. Only cunt-faced bastards go rape people."

Sakura looked up at Sasuke and wanted to hit him, but then again, she began to agree that Sasuke did make a good body pillow as well.

"I'm glad you have enough common sense to know that then." Sakura sniffed.

"I didn't mean to scare you like that y'know." Sasuke stated stroking her back up and down in an attempt to comfort her.

Sakura vein-popped.

"THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT, YOU CHICKEN-ASS!"

"Glad to see you're back to normal." Sasuke chuckled.

"I feel like I'm making great progress as to making you suitable for your future wife."

(Somewhere, far away, Karin sneezed. LOLJK. LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN.)

"Am I not already to your liking?" Sasuke asked "You haven't pushed me away yet, Sa-ku-ra."

Sakura blushed.

"Shut up or go back to your own bed, duck-butt." Sakura frowned.

"Alrighty then." Sasuke shifted his weight a bit but didn't move otherwise.

"Sasuke. Did you not hear what I just said?"

"This is my bed, Sa-ku-ra. I'm listening to you, you see. I own this piece of furniture, therefore it is in my possession and so, I **am** in _my_ bed."

Sakura blushed again. But thank god the lights were off so Sasuke couldn't see.

"Thank god he didn't hear that I said 'or' instead of 'and' when I told him to shut up." Sakura thought.

She tried to wiggle out of his grasp but failed.

Of course she failed.

"It's no use, Sakura. I told you I was serious about this." Sasuke stated. "Just go to sleep."

And after 2 hours of trying to get out of his tight grip, Sakura fell asleep due to exhaustion.

Sasuke looked at her sleeping form and chuckled. (- Pervert.)

He let one of his hands go and picked up a phone that came out of nowhere, making a quick call.

"I need a favor from you."

* * *

The next day…

Sakura woke up shiver a bit. Sasuke was no longer providing body heat and in his stead, was a full body pillow. With a semi-erotic photo of Sasuke printed onto the surface of it. Like one of those anime/manga full body pillows.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

3.

2.

1.

"SASUKE UCHIHA. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" Sakura screamed.

Sasuke smirked from the driveway as he got into his car.

Sakura stomped downstairs, more angry than ever.

She even forgot Naruto was there and stepped on his stomach.

Sorry Naruto.

"UCHIHA. WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I WILL KILL YOU."

Sasuke smirked to himself as he started to drive away.

Revenge against Sakura: completed.

Revenge against Gaara: pending.

* * *

At the office…

"Uchiha-sama. Care to explain why you left me something like that this morning?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about Haruno-san." Sasuke stated, rereading the notes for the press conference that would be held with Gaara in a few hours.

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." Sakura glared "How would you like it if I sold that to your fans?"

"Then you would have to answer to the question of how you, of all people, obtained such an image of me." Sasuke stated "And you don't want to have to deal with such trifles, do you, Sa-ku-ra?"

Sakura fumed.

He had her cornered.

"I'll just throw it into an incinerator then, Uchiha-sama. I'm sorry to have taken up your time."

"That's okay Haruno-san. I have plenty more of those gifts for you hidden elsewhere." Sasuke smirked.

Sakura glared.

"Go prepare for your damn meeting."

With that, she left Sasuke chuckling to himself.

"I really should thank mother for providing me with an opportunity to express my feelings to that pinky." Sasuke thought to himself as he began to type up an email that would never meet Sakura's eyes.

* * *

Me – I do no condone doing anything in this chapter in real life.

Sakura – Rape is bad. Don't do it.

Sasuke – Role-playing, however, is only acceptable if all parties are in consent of the act.

Sakura – They don't need to know of any sick, perverted crap you have in your mind.

Sasuke – Tch.

Naruto – Thank you for taking the time to read this little chat and FOR FORGETTING ABOUT ME YOU EVIL AUTHORESS.

Me – I also do not condone violence. *watches Sakura slap Naruto*

* * *

**Love it?**

**Hate it?**

**Review and tell me.**

**~Nikkikay**


	16. Sasuke Gets Defensive

Thanks for all the reviews! Sassy authoress is sassy. Bitchy authoress says fuck you. So call me maybe. *tortures you all as now you can't get that song out of your head.* Hush up. I had to dance to that song. HOURS OF REPEATEDLY LISTENING TO IT AND DANCING POOR CHOREOGRAPHY TO IT. *gone through hell*

Disclaimer: Those shoes? I own. That dress? Mine. This story plot? I wrote. These characters…I stole. BUAHAHAHAHA. Okay. Borrowed without asking. But gave credit. No plagiarism.

* * *

Flashback:

Sakura glared.

"Go prepare for your damn meeting."

With that, she left Sasuke chuckling to himself.

"I should really thank mother for providing me with the opportunity to express my feelings to that pinky." Sasuke thought to himself as he began to type up an email that would never meet Sakura's eyes.

End of flashback.

* * *

Chapter 16

Sasuke Gets Defensive

oX-Xo

* * *

"Haruno-san. I need you to step into my office for something." Sasuke spoke over the P.A. system.

Sakura tried to remember why she applied for her job at Uchiha Enterprise. It had been a good 2 hours since Sasuke last called her so she stayed composed as she walked down the corridor to his office.

"Yes?" She stood at the doorway.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Come closer. I can't hand you anything if you're 30 feet away."

Sakura took one step forward.

Sasuke gave her a look "You don't have to be afraid. I don't have anything set up as a trap for you." He handed her a file. "Look over this. I'll need this thirty minutes."

"Alright then." Sakura took the file and opened it as she turned and exited the room once again. She walked to the lounge and sat down as she read through Sasuke's speech looking for possible grammatical errors. There were millions.

"He's doing this on purpose. There's no way someone with his educational background could forget to use an apostrophe on such simple words. There's also no way that he could mistake "your" for "you're' so many times. Why is this paragraph even relevant? This needs to be cut out." Sakura took her pink highlighter to the file and began to cut out paragraphs she thought he didn't need. Sakura also began to ponder why there were italicized words on the file but thought it to be of just mental notes on what to stress during the speech. She did the same when she gave presentations only bolding words instead of italicizing them. Sakura continued to edit the speech and looked it over one last time before deciding that it was as good as it was going to get. She got up out of her seat and headed back to Sasuke's office.

**Knock. Knock. **Was all the courtesy she was going to give him. She had a long lecture in mind and wanted to accuse him of cheating his way through college with all the simple mistakes he made repeatedly. However, she lost her train of thought as a flash of red hair caught her eye.

"Not again." Sakura moaned internally as she stood in the doorway. She thought of all the good things she could possibly get out of just standing there. "Well, if there's an earthquake, I'm in an okay spot I guess. I should just paint this doorway pink and deem it my cave seeing how I'M SPENDING ALL OF ETERNITY WAITING FOR THAT RED-HEADED DEMON TO HURRY AND GET OUT."

"But Sasuke! This is a perfect opportunity to announce our engagement to the world!" Karin whined.

Sasuke looked at her "This is a press conference to announce the collaboration between Uchiha Enterprise and Sabaku Corporations, not for sheer entertainment. I refuse to publicly announce an engagement that I have not even agreed to to the world. Why don't you just get the hell out of here, go home and do whatever it is your job is. If you have one that is. Your input is not useful to me and I do not need nor appreciate your ideas. Now get out of my office"

Sakura was a bit stunned. She knew that Sasuke was cold but his response to Karin's whims were harsh even to her standards.  
Karin whimpered a bit.

"FINE! IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO ACT LIKE A JERK, THEN I'LL GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT."

Sakura decided to chime in.

"That's not how the silent treatment works, Karin."

Karin turned to Sakura.

"NO ONE ASKED FOR YOU TO COMMENT YOU DUMB BITCH." Karin raged as she stormed out, making sure to kick Sakura hard with her platform shoes before she left the room.

Sakura didn't see it coming and winced hard.

"Ahhh." She made a painful face as she rubbed her calf.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT." Karin stuck up her nose and was about to strut out of the office like she owned the place when Sasuke slammed his palms onto the desk.

Karin was startled by the sound and froze in place.

"Karin." Sasuke spoke in his most commanding voice. "APOLOGIZE. NOW."

His anger seemed to seethe through the room and into the hall.

Sakura began to notice other workers started to sneak peeks of what was going on. Naruto was quick to handle the situation as Sasuke's right hand man and got them back to work. (Go Naruto!) Naruto rounded Sakura and Karin away from the doorway and into Sasuke's office before shutting the door to prevent further noise disturbances.

Sakura looked at Sasuke and couldn't really understand why he was so angry. She could handle her own battles. She was a strong, independent woman who didn't need a man to defend her. She was a capable person and didn't like to be treated like a weak person. She wanted to speak up but she couldn't seem to do so as Sasuke was totally focused on Karin.

Sasuke repeated himself.

"Karin. Apologize to Sakura now."

Karin was scared. She had never seen Sasuke so angry before. This was not the type of attention she had wanted from him. Much more, he was defending that pink-haired whore who had been attempting to steal Sasuke away from her. (Ahahaha. Look at this warped perception Karin has of this life.)

"But Sasuke! It was her fault, she-" Karin tried to put the blame on Sakura.

"Karin. It's not enough that you attempt to call me every night after I have blocked your number several times before and that you waltz into my company and make a fool out of all that I do but you also dare to hurt the hard-working employees all because I didn't agree to a stupid wish of yours. You would tarnish the Uchiha name. You are not fit to be a part of my family. You are an annoying child who needs to get a grip on reality that not everything goes your way and that I don't care for your antics. I will not have this happen. I have tried to be nice today by not calling security to escort you out but I have decided to change my mind about that. Apologize now and leave. I will not repeat myself a third time."

Karin was close to tears as she turned to Sakura and squeaked out an apology before running out of the room.

Sasuke sighed and sat back down. "Are you okay Sakura?"

Sakura looked at him and broke the tension in the room. "That's a dumb question to ask seeing how I was just kicked in the damn calf. It's probably going to leave a bruise."

Sakura got back to her feet and walked to Sasuke's desk, placing the file with his speech on it.

"I've looked over it and made some corrections to it. Also, you need to go back to grammar school. You made far too many mistakes you dumb ass."

"I don't even get a thanks for that performance?" Sasuke looked at her.

"Here's a round of applause." Sakura clapped with her hands going in a circle.

"Always the funny one." Sasuke smiled.

Sakura fake-smiled back. "Just look over the corrections and make the final edits so I can have another look-over before you memorize it for the conference."

"Nope, I'm okay with this being the final draft." Sasuke said as he flipped through the packet.

"Why is that? There are still errors to it." Sakura said.

"Because you corrected it. I trust your eyes." Sasuke said as he continued to the last page of the packet. "Done."

Sakura gave him a look.

Sasuke looked her in the eye. "Thank you very much Haruno-san." He smiled.

Sakura began to worry and shift her vision side to side to avoid his gaze. "You're very welcome Uchiha-sama."

She lingered a bit longer in the room.

Sasuke looked at her. "You're dismissed Haruno-san. You can return to your work. I'll let you know if I need anything."

Sakura left the room and closed the door. She stood there for a minute.

"What…just happened?" She stared at the floor for a while reviewing in her mind the events that had just occurred. "Who died and replaced the teme with this nice guy."

She pondered for a good 3 minutes before realizing that she still had work to do. She returned to her desk.

* * *

In Sasuke's office…

Sasuke chuckled to himself as he replayed all of Sakura's reactions. He knew she had stood in front of his door for a while. He knew he had left a different impression on her with his actions today. He enjoyed toying with her and saw that Sakura didn't even notice that he had left a message in italics in his speech. "She can be quite dense." He thought as he gathered the supplies he would need for the press conference.

* * *

Later that day at the venue for the press conference…

Gaara spoke into the microphone. "As President of Sabaku Corporations, I am proud to announce that we will be merging in a collaboration with Uchiha Enterprise to expand our companies to the rest of the world. I am greatly impressed by the works accomplished by Uchiha-san and his fellow workers and look forward to working with him in the future. Uchiha-san will describe to all of you, the public, some of the logistics of the collaboration and what we hope to accomplish."

Sasuke continued. "As mentioned, Sabaku Corporations and Uchiha Enterprise will emerge as sister companies in the global expansion. First, we wish to….."

Sakura watched from afar as Sasuke and Gaara were on set with a few other people. Sakura looked around for the food table and walked over for a donut. The conference was going well and Sakura wanted a break seeing how she had been sitting at a desk for 8 hours. Her feet were a bit cramped. She usually had to run stupid errands for Sasuke but to her surprise, Sasuke didn't call her up to have his dry-cleaning done or ask for his coffee. Sakura decided to prep a cup of coffee for him for after the conference was over. It would be cold but the thought was what counted. She bit into her donut and smiled at the success of the introduction. She waited to hear the answers to the questions that the press might've had for the two males.

Sasuke chose some random person to ask their question.

"First of all, congratulations on the merge of the companies. I'm sorry to pry into your personal business but what of your relationship status right now. There have been rumors all over the tabloids saying that you're engaged with Karin but that you're having an affair with your pink-haired secretary. Can you elaborate on this Uchiha-san?"

Sakura dropped the cup of coffee.

"Why that motherfucker."

* * *

Me: Yea, I'm just going to write over the summer.  
Sakura: I'm sure the readers have noticed your writing patterns of being LAZY AS FUCK.  
Me: Ahahahaha. Shut up.  
Sasuke: I don't understand why you had to stop with a cliff hanger like that. I mean, the end result is obvious.  
Me: Hush. I can have a plot twist next chapter.  
Sakura: If we ever get there.  
Me: Hush. We will get there eventually.  
Sasuke: So will the apocalypse.

Love it?  
Hate it?  
Review and tell me. (Not really.)  
~Nikkikay


End file.
